Cosmic Love
by Alex Beckett
Summary: Join Kate in her year of sabbatical as she and her family prepare for a visit from the stork! (part of the Lily Joy Universe)
1. Family Activities

**Author's note: I don't own Castle the show, but any character you stumble upon in here who wasn't on the aforementioned television program is one of my own creations ;)**

* * *

_Saturday, March 5_

_Kate's Point of_ _View_

* * *

For the past fifteen years of my life and woking career, I've only ever taken a week's worth of vacation at a time, and it's usually forced on me by my superiors. I joined the force right after my mother died, half using it as a reason to avoid my dad, whom I was beginning to lose to the bottle. He only got into rehab because it took me being in a near-death experience as a bright and shiny new rookie to sober him up. I was in hospital for almost a week before the idea of possibly losing to the job caused him to reevaluate his life and get clean for me. Even after all that, I remained married to the job because I had nothing else to do, and failed relationship after failed relationship told me I wouldn't ever become the type who would consider loosening up enough to settle down, marry and have a few kids.

But then I met Richard Castle, and something happened that I wasn't expecting: we fell in love.

Eight years later, we're are happily married, and I'm the proud mother of Alexis, Lily Joy, Jameson, Jeremiah and Johanna. My husband and kids light up my life and right now, everybody is extra excited because within the next five weeks, we'll be welcoming a new baby into the family!

We have everything ready except for the baby's name. I'm carrying a girl, but Alexis called dibs on choosing her name awhile ago and is keeping mum on the subject. Her lack of willingness to share yet is driving us bonkers, but we have other things to think about.

A few months ago, we solved my mother's murder, discovered the identity of a crooked local politician and found Castle's dad all in one go. Along the way, I broke my ankle when I was being held at gunpoint. When we were released to the hospital, Doctor Iris Ravensdale took good care of me but put me into physical therapy almost immediately and advised a year-long sabbatical so I can focus on getting better.

I'm enjoying my time off, but it's difficult because I'm still trying to get used to the idea of having so much free time.

* * *

"Mama, it's time to wake up now; it's Saturday!"

"Up, mama!"

"Uppie!"

"Mama uppie?"

I opened my eyes to see LJ, Jameson, Jeremiah and Johanna all sitting on the edge of my bed, lined up like baby ducks.

"Good morning, mama!" She chirped sweetly as I sat up. "How are you and Porcupine?"

"We're great, but I wish you'd you start calling the baby 'Little Bunny,' like everyone else does. Calling her 'Porcupine' makes it sound like you're still upset."

LJ scowled momentarily because she knows that I know the reasons why she's anxious about becoming a big sister again. She chose to ignore my words, instead becoming all sunshine and smiles.

"Today is Saturday, and that means we get to do a family activity!"

"Ati'fee!" Jeremiah and Johanna echoed for emphasis. "Ati'fee!"

I nodded in confirmation. "Where's daddy?"

LJ happily supplied the answer. "Making s'morelettes!"

All three of the littler kids' heads shot up at these words, in an eerie Pavlovian-response manner. While Alexis will only eat the dish if she's pregnant, and LJ already likes it, my youngest children all have an alarming affinity for it.

The toddlers each gave the baby and me a hug or kiss before vacating the room to find their father. LJ stayed behind, looking serious.

"Daddy said that I get to pick this week, but I have to choose extra good 'cause Alexis and Ashley are coming with Toby, Abby and Natalie."

"Are you looking out for Natalie because she's two months old?"

"Uh-huh. I'm also thinking of where we can go that's fun inside since it's yucky and slushy outside."

"And you want to think of something that's not boring for the little ones?"

"Yeah…"

After a few moments of careful thinking, she brightened.

"Mama, I know where we can go and have fun, especially you, since you're relearning how to walk!"

"Do tell, Baby Bird."

She giggled at the nickname. "We can go to the Play Museum at Lincoln Center 'cause there's something for everyone, even Natalie, and there's space for you to practice walking, if you want to!"

"That's perfect! Why don't you go tell daddy?"

LJ gave me a grin identical to her father's and got down. "I'll go make sure that daddy, Jamie and the twins don't hog everything!"

I thanked her and watched her go before pulling back my blankets and easing myself into the wheelchair adjacent to my side of the bed. It took longer than I would've liked, but I showered, dressed and joined my family in the kitchen where there was nothing but excitement in the air.

* * *

_One hour later, Manhattan Play Museum _

_Lincoln Center _

* * *

By the time we met up with the others at the museum and decided on what to do first, I was beginning to feel too tired to keep up with everybody, but since I had been anticipating this, I already had my own plans to settle down in the museum lounge with my fully charged iPad and my Russian copy of _Anna Karenina_, which I've recently started rereading. I didn't get too far towards the lounge because I heard someone call after me.

"Mom, wait!"

Turning, I saw Alexis pushing the monster truck of a stroller that safely seats all three of her children. She was coming over to me.

"Hey, Sunshine! Do you want to come to the lounge with me?"

She nodded as we headed in that direction. "I like being with the kids, I won't be up for walking around right now because Natalie is like a baby owl and has a hard time getting to sleep, so she's in a weird mood right now."

"Your daughter is three months old, though. Wouldn't she at least be on her way to learning how to sleep through the night?"

"We're sure that she inherited my insomnia, the poor thing," my oldest daughter checked on her own daughter, who was wide awake and cooing in her stroller seat. "But in other news, it's time for Natalie to have her bottle!"

I perked up a little at this. "Can I feed her?"

* * *

At three months and two days old, my youngest grandchild's main concerns in life consist mostly of sleeping, being cuddled or eating, so I was happy to hold her in my arms and watch her suck on her infant-sized milk bottle. Natalie's eyes were closed in contentment and she snuggled close to my body, seeking warmth. I kept cooing to her and she kicked her legs in response, showing off her amazing reflexes. Alexis fawned over her like any proud mama would, but spoke with concern when she saw me touch a hand to my massive baby bump.

"Are Natalie and the baby giving you trouble?"

"Apparently, the baby can feel Natalie's movements, even from where she is. Your sister is retaliating against your daughter by kicking me, like she's marking her territory."

Alexis gave a sympathetic wince. "I can take Natalie if you want."

"I'm fine; it just feels weird to have the baby inside me trying to kick the one in my arms." I noticed that Natalie was done with her bottle, so I held her against my shoulder and began burping her. "What's new with you and your husband? We haven't seen you two for awhile."

"We're thinking about finally taking our honeymoon since we never had a proper chance and we're fast approaching our first wedding anniversary in April."

(In the past year alone, Alexis has become a married woman, discovered a startling fact about her true lineage, met and adopted a sibling she never even knew about, and has even given birth)

"Any interesting destinations yet?"

"How's Natalie?"

I gave the infant a kiss when she let out a healthy burp before answering.

"Your daughter is a champion and she loves being by me, but you haven't quite answered my question."

"We aren't sure, especially since we're trust-fund babies and can afford to go literally anywhere. It has to be kept practical because we have three kids under the age of five and don't want to be away from them for too long. Or too far."

"Then it looks like Europe is out."

"Totally, plus you and dad went to London and Paris for _your_ honeymoon."

"Then what about Hawaii? It's lovely all year around and is still inside the United States even though it's made up of islands."

"That's a great idea, mom! I'll suggest it to Ashley later!"

Natalie interrupted my response by becoming squirmy and fussy. I handed her back with a little reluctance because I love holding babies, but didn't get to mope for too long because our families returned, full of energy and overflowing with excitement and fun stories to tell. I didn't realize how much time had passed until LJ informed us of something.

"Mama, Lexie, it's time for lunch now! Do you wanna come?"

We agreed and soon found ourselves in the museum cafeteria, sorting out who was going to eat what. I had quite an array of things, but to satisfy my pregnancy cravings and creep the kids out in equal measure, I put ranch dressing on my pepperoni and chicken pizza before offering them a bite. Only Tobias my grandson who was brave enough to take a bite.

After lunch, Castle and Alexis and Ashley realized I was getting too tired to hang out at the museum for too much longer, so everyone started getting ready to leave. Ashley spoke up at the last minute.

"Alexis and I were wondering if we could take the kids off your hands for a few hours today."

"Are you sure you can manage?" I asked.

"Absolutely." My son-in-law reassured me. "We have lots of other fun things planned."

Even Castle was beginning to see what Ashley was getting at and turned to me with a little too much eagerness.

"Just think of all things we can do if we're alone…"

"Castle, ew!" I wrinkled my nose. "The kids are here!"

"All the more reason…"

Alexis interjected. "Ew, dad! Be serious!"

He pouted, looking just like Jameson does when he gets like that. I spoke quickly before Castle could say anything else.

"It's okay with me if the kids hang out with you and your posse for a bit longer."

"Could we please have a sleepover?" LJ pressed. "It's not even a school night!"

"But that means there'll be seven of you kids, including a newborn…"

All of my kids looked at me with puppydog eyes, causing me to cave immediately. How could I say no when it's five against one?

"Oh, all right; go have fun!"

"Woooooo!" LJ did a double fist pump and turned to Castle. "Does this mean we can get the duffle bags out of the trunk now?"

I fixed Castle with a withering stare that stopped him in his tracks. "Excuse me? You had the sleepover prearranged?"

He had the good sense to appear sheepish. "Yes?"

LJ looked apprehensive. "Can we still go, mama?"

I softened up. "Of course!"

When she cheered, the little ones took it as a good sign and started cheering, too. We left the museum and pulled our cars up to the loading zone outside the entrance. After about twenty minutes, when everything and everybody were in the right car and stowed in the proper places, we bid our family farewell for the rest of the day.

"Thanks for doing this." I told Castle as the Kerrigan family van vanished from view. "It's very sweet."

"You're welcome, Kate." He kissed me on the top of my head. "I figured that this might be the last kid-free moment we get for awhile."

"That's true." I draped my hands over my belly gave as the baby kicked my kidney. "What would you like to do?"

"Up to you."

I shook my head. "Rick, just because I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy, that doesn't always mean that it has to be about me. What do you want to do?"

"Order takeout and watch _Dirty_ _Dancing_, _Saved_ _By_ _The_ _Bell_ and _Temptation_ _Lane_ with you. I'll even draw you a bath first so you're fully relaxed. Who cares if it's not even evening yet?"

My heart melted. "Will you join me in the bath, and will there be lit candles?"

"Yes, and yes."

"Damn! Now I'm wishing that we could just apparate home..."

"Nice use of a Harry Potter reference!" He kissed me again. "And thanks for asking for my input; I appreciate it."

"Richard Alexander Castle, you're my partner, my best friend, my protector, my _husband, _and I'll always care about your input, but… since I've spent a majority of the last three or so years being pregnant or even recovering from a pregnancy, I've become a little wrapped up in myself. That's wrong."

"Oh, Kate…"

I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I don't say enough how much I appreciate and love you because it's been that way since before we were married, so I guess I just got used to it and used to you knowing it. I don't even know how to ever say thank you for all the times you saved my life, especially when we were stuck in the freezer, so starting now, I'm going to do everything I can to show you, and I don't want any arguments, alright?"

"Okay, but Kate?"

"Yes?"

"I love you forever and always. Nothing will change that, including how much you've gone through in the past, or even when it comes to how you've carried four of our six beautiful, healthy and happy children to term and given them life. The unconditional affection and love you showed to Alexis and Lily when they were both at rock bottom, and the emotional roller coaster that came with it also doesn't change anything because the experience made all of us into stronger and better people."

"There are never going to be enough words to express how much I love you and how much I always will." I held his hand to my lips and kissed it. "Ready to go home so we can start our night in?"

"I'm one hundred percent ready!"

And with that, we got in the car and left, discussing what to do first. The bath was non-negotiable, but we started thinking of other things to pull off the DVD shelf, and that's how _Firefly_ and _The Breakfast Club _got added to the list.

(But if Castle was able to work in that ridiculous TV series about a space cowboy, this means I can add _New Moon _to the list)

It looks like we're going to have a thoroughly entertaining night ahead of us, and there's nobody else I'd rather spend it with than my husband.


	2. Poor LJ

**I'm very excited to have so many new followers, and I welcome you, but please don't forget to review. I know you're there, so don't think you've escaped my notice ;)**

* * *

_March 7, two days later_

* * *

Alexis brought LJ, Jameson, Jeremiah and Johanna back home just after lunchtime on Saturday, and they were all in high spirits, except for one person. The second Alexis left, LJ burst into tears with absolutely no warning.

It turned out that she had been experiencing a migraine since early that morning but was keeping the pain to herself and as a result of not saying anything, she was in so much pain that just about any kind of light or sound really bothered her, so all she could do was cry. I ended up laying on my bed with LJ until she fell into an uneasy asleep.

She was as right as rain in the morning, and pretty eager to go to school. Castle and I promised to come collect her straight away if she felt ill again, but LJ's response was to shrug and excuse herself to get ready for school.

* * *

That last part happened this morning, and we saw LJ off on the school bus three hours ago. Shortly thereafter, we dropped the little kids off at the babysitter's house and then ran some baby-related errands. We had planned to go to Remy's Diner when were were done, but the car phone rang, changing those plans, especially when we saw the number for LJ's school flash across the monitor.

* * *

"That D'Agostino kid better not be bothering LJ again, and if she is, then so help me God…" I muttered.

"Just answer it so I know if I should drive towards Lily's school."

I pressed the answer button. "This is the Castles, and you're on speaker!"

The caller's voice was a familiar one. "It's Jenny."

(Sometimes I forget that she teaches at LJ's school)

"Why are you calling from a school phone? Is LJ hurt?"

"No, but Holly had a hard time getting her to leave the classroom to go to recess because she had a bad headache. Has LJ been sick recently?"

I explained about the migraine as Castle steered in the direction of the school.

"Jenny, we'll be there soon. Are you near LJ now?"

"I'm just outside of the back room, and she's camped out on a cot with all of the lights off. It looks like she's having another migraine."

"Is she by herself?"

"No. Her classmate Inga Thiessen is with her."

"Where's Holly? Why isn't she calling us?"

(Holly Prince-Corbeau has been LJ's reading teacher for the past two years)

"I took her spot here because she had a department meeting to attend. She stayed as long as she could."

"Okay. Tell LJ that we'll be there soon."

"All right, I will."

We thanked her for keeping an eye on LJ and I pressed the end call button, sighing.

"So much for a lunch date now…"

* * *

We met up with Jenny at the main office, and she looked like she'd been thinking hard about something.

"There are some things I noticed when I was monitoring LJ's reading class last week that may have to do with this."

"What do you mean?" I stroked my belly as the baby changed positions. "What kinds of things?"

"Reluctance to join in group activities, going slower on individual tasks, leaning closer to her desk to see her papers better…"

"Are you saying that LJ might need glasses?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, and the idea of it has LJ a little freaked out. Inga is trying to calm her down; look."

We saw LJ perched on the spacious army cot where a young dark-haired girl was talking quietly to her.

"Having glasses isn't so bad, Lily Joy. I have glasses."

"But what if I get glasses and get teased, Inga?"

"It wouldn't be bad as getting called 'Wheezy' if you had asthma like how I do." She pushed back her own pair of thick black framed glasses to keep them from sliding too far down her nose. "Only meanies like Mila D'Agostino call me that name, though."

"How long have you had your glasses?"

"Since the summer time 'cause I broke the other pair and my back up pair during gymnastics camp."

"I mean when was first time you _ever_ got glasses?"

Inga shrugged. "Some time when I was a baby."

"Woah."

"Back when I was at the orphanage where I come from in Scandinavia, I had super bad eyes, kind of like your friend Gabriella."

"But she's blind and you can see me…"

"My eyes weren't _that_ bad, but my parents told me once that they gave me my first-ever pair when they came to get me, and I was like six months old. They also said they told me that my bad eyes didn't matter because they still loved me for always."

"I'm also adopted, but I'm from California, and I don't know my eyes have been bad for forever like yours."

Inga shrugged. "Who knows?"

"I have a question that you might be able to answer since you're adopted, too."

"What question?"

"Will my parents keep loving me even if I have to wear glasses?"

"They're totally gonna keep loving you, Lily Joy."

My daughter smiled and then winced, holding her head in her hands as pain invaded it. Her tiny body shook with unshed tears and I hurried forward to sit next to her and hold her in my arms. Realizing that it would be a good time to leave, Jenny shepherded Inga from the room with Castle promising to text out blond friend with updates. When Jenny and Inga were gone, Castle sat on LJ's other side.

"How badly does it hurt?"

"Like a bazillion zoo animals are tap dancing on my noggin."

"Do you want to go home?"

"And sleep until it doesn't hurt."

I kissed her on the top of her head. "That's fine, but we're going to take you the doctor later to get your eyes checked because Auntie Jenny told us that you're having trouble in reading class."

"Everything in all of my classrooms are getting too fuzzy to see." LJ pressed her face into my side, trying to block out the light. "Please can we go home?"

"Sure. We'll go home and you can nap while daddy and I make lunch."

"Sounds good…"

She was fast asleep before we even got back to the loft.

* * *

After lying LJ on our bed in the master bedroom, Castle joined me in the office, pocketing his phone.

"Did you call someone?" I wanted to know.

"I called Orla O'Malley to see if she can watch Jamie and the twins for a bit longer than we needed her to." (Orla is one of Jenny's sisters-in-law, and she runs a home daycare) "I don't think the little kids would be able to resist touching everything in a doctor's office."

"No arguments there." I agreed. "What did Orla say?"

"That she'd be glad to do it and that she won't charge extra."

"That's nice of her." I arched my back as the baby stretched out in her limited space. "Rick, what if LJ ends up needing glasses after all? Do you have any helpful childhood anecdotes for that?"

"Nope. I managed to go through childhood without needing eyeglasses, and so did Alexis."

"What about Martha and Serenity?"

"Mother has never needed eyeglasses, nor has her sister. It must be from Meredith's side of the family."

"That makes sense to me… jeez, this kid is really strong!"

I had let out a small groan that immediately put Castle on red alert.

"Is the baby coming?"

"No, so don't get your panties in a bunch, you big worrywart." I punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Little Bunny always kicks hard when she's hungry."

Castle got to his feet. "Let's go find some food and let LJ sleep at least long enough to look up the number of the optometrist at the hospital."

My stomach growled, completely derailing all of my attention from the current discussion. The baby kicked even harder, so I turned my wheelchair towards the kitchen, asking Castle a single question as he hurried after me.

"What's for lunch?"


	3. A Trip To The Doctor's Office

As we ate lunch, Castle got the number for the local optometrist at the hospital while I decided to Skype my sister-in-law, Jordan Shaw, even though she's at work.

I want to her because she's Meredith's older sister, and Meredith gave birth to LJ six years ago. If Meredith hadn't been murdered, I'd ask her if there's history of bad eyesight on her side of the family so we'd know better how to treat LJ.

But Meredith has been dead for over a year now, so Jordan will do, but I don't mind because she's the best sister-in-law anyone could ask for.

* * *

When Jordan answered the Skype call, she was at her work computer, but she looked happy to see me.

"Hi, Kate! How are you and my baby niece doing today?"

"I'm great, although sometimes it feels like this kid is trying to claw her way out of me."

"You read too much of the _Twilight _series."

I raised an eyebrow. "But you'd have to read all the way to the last story to know how Renesmée was born."

Jordan blushed because she's not the kind of person who'd admit to reading a series like that.

"Never mind, then. What's up?"

"LJ's been acting off-kilter lately, especially when it comes to focusing on everyday tasks, like pouring herself a glass of juice or even participating regularly with her classmates at school. Her eyes are going bad, and she's just a kid."

"Poor baby, I want to hug her."

"She wouldn't like that because the day before yesterday, she experienced a massive migraine, and just now, Rick and I had to collect from school because she was having another one."

"Is there a question in here?"

"Does anyone in your family have bad eyesight like this?"

"My dad was fine and so are my kids and I, but I know as a fact that I've recently that my mother is going blind."

"Not something I wanted to hear…"

"You asked." She shrugged. "Meredith's eyes were the worst, though, because she had glasses by the time she was LJ's age and up until she got contacts and then LASIK surgery around the time she was pregnant with Alexis, she couldn't see a damn thing in from of her without proper eyewear. They were thick ones, too."

"We're about to take LJ to the optometrist, but now we know whose genes to blame." I winced as the baby kneed my stomach extra hard. "Well, I should sign off now. Little Bunny is upset with me for staying still for too long."

Jordan laughed. "Take care of yourself, and don't you or Rick hesitate to call if you need help with anything."

I thanked her for her generosity and hung up, sitting my tablet aside just as LJ wandered in and climbed up onto Castle's lap. It didn't escape my notice that she was squinting slightly.

"How long was I sleeping?"

"Only about an hour." Castle told her. "Do you feel any better?"

"It doesn't feel like I have zoo animals tap dancing on my noggin anymore."

"That's good to hear." I rolled my chair over to where they were. "Are you hungry, Miss Lily?"

She shook her head. "I'm worried about getting my eyes checked. What if it hurts?"

"It won't." I reassured her. "They're just going to do some tests to see if your eyes are okay or not."

"But they're already wonky!"

Sighing, she leaned against Castle's chest as he wrapped his arms around around her and spoke gently.

"I know you're not a big fan of hospitals, but we have to leave soon to go to Saint Brigid's. We're going to meet Doctor Castillo there."

"What's Doctor Castillo's actual name?"

"Solédad, but I'm sure she'd prefer being called 'Doctor Castillo.' Do you want to go get your stuffed animals and put them in a bag to bring with us? You can bring three."

"I'll bring Lieutenant Cuddles the dinosaur, Olivia the pig and Humphrey the camel!"

LJ got off Castle's lap and hurried towards the stairs. We watched her closely, noticing how she almost bumped into a few things along the way before slowing down use the banister.

"How did we never notice this before?" Castle wondered aloud. "She's not going blind, but she's obviously having sight problems."

"It's the stubborn streak that she picked up from me on the day we met." I sighed and leaned back in my wheelchair. "Let's hope she grows out of it."

* * *

_Twenty-five minutes later, Saint Brigid's Hospital _

_Doctor Castillo's Office_

* * *

Doctor Castillo turned out to be very nice and completely understanding of LJ's woes, and LJ immediately relaxed when she saw that the physician also had glasses. Doctor Castillo was very patient with LJ, especially when it came time for using the big phoropter that almost completely covered LJ's face. My daughter couldn't see Doctor Castillo make notes on her clipboard, but the doctor's facial expressions told me that things weren't looking up. Even Castle noticed.

The tricky part was when LJ had to recite letters off the eye exam chart.

"What's this part for?"

"It's to see how well you can read the letters, and it's the last stop before finding out if you need glasses." Doctor Castillo eyed the stuffed animals LJ was holding. "It's alright if you keep your toys with you."

"What do I have to do?"

"Read the letters aloud until you can't see them anymore."

LJ sailed through the first four lines with no problem, but it was the fifth line that was trouble.

"Just read the letters, remember?" Doctor Castillo kindly prompted LJ when she hesitated. "Try not to squint."

"But my eyes are getting tired..."

"Then this will be the last line, I promise."

Pleased, LJ finally recited the letters. "D, b, o, p, o."

Castle and I cringed because she'd gotten the letters wrong because they were actually p, e, c, f and d. The doctor made a few more notes on her clipboard before leaving the room, telling us to wait for her. She was back about twenty minutes later and up a chair to where Castle, LJ and I were sitting.

"Do I need glasses, Doctor Castillo?" LJ blurted.

"Yes, you do. How do you feel about that?"

LJ shrugged and didn't speak, so I took point on the conversation.

"What's Lily Joy's prognosis?"

"Missus Castle, she has twenty-forty vision."

"That's not good, is it?"

"Not good, but not horrible. She's definitely going to need glasses until she's older and decides to contacts or LASIK surgery."

"How soon can we get LJ outfitted with a pair of glasses?" Castle wanted to know. "We'll pay extra fees to expedite anything."

"That won't be necessary."

"Why not?"

"Because Lily Joy is young, I was able to get a prescription written out that you'll be able to get filled today at the closest LensCrafters when you leave here."

"Thanks for doing that."

"Not a problem." She grinned, turning to LJ. "Do you have any questions?"

"I have archery every day after school and piano lessons with my Gram on the weekend. Sometimes I even get rough and tumble with my brothers and sisters and my niece and my nephew when we're all together. What if I accidentally break my glasses?"

"I thought you might run into a problem like that, so I already thought of a solution."

"What is it?"

"I'm going to advise your parents to get bendy frames."

LJ was clearly impressed. "Bendy glasses?"

"Yep. It'll take a lot for them to break, so you can be as rough and tumble at archery or with your family as you want, and you'll even be able to see the notes in your piano books easier. Any other questions?"

"My friend Inga does archery with me, and she wears glasses, but at archery, she has extra special sport goggles for outside use. Do I need goggles, too?"

"Yes, but only for archery. The other glasses should be on your face at all times unless you're asleep."

LJ looked over at me. "I'm actually excited to get my glasses and goggles 'cause they might look cool! Could we go now?"

"In a couple minutes. Why don't you pack up your toys and get your jacket on?"

LJ did as she was told while Castle and I got a little more information on her prescriptions and her newfound condition. I listened as Castle asked a few questions, but I didn't say anything because I was turning some facts over in my mind. Doctor Castillo brought me back to reality.

"Missus Castle, are you okay?"

"I just found out today from LJ's biological mother's older sister that there's history of bad eyesight on that side of the family, including blindness. Does LJ qualify as a special needs child?"

"No, but if you'd waited any longer, she would have. We caught this before it became a real problem."

Relieved, we thanked Doctor Castillo as stood to leave. On her way out, she gave LJ some last minute advice and encouragement about different colors and shapes to consider when she chose her eyewear. LJ smiled after her as Castle and I got ourselves ready to go.

"I like her. She's nice."

"She is." I agreed. "Maybe you can be an eye doctor when you grow up."

LJ giggled. "Mama, I'm only six, and I already know that I want to be in theater like Gram is!"

"Now there's an idea. What would be your favorite stories to do?"

LJ jabbered away about what stories she'd like to bring to life one day, and as I headed out with her and Castle, I realized that LJ was handling this whole situation a lot better than most kids in her position would.

Maybe we'll take her out for lunch and ice cream later.

That sounds like a good idea.


	4. LJ Gets Glasses

**The rating for this story has been bumped up because of language. The scene hasn't happened yet, but it's coming and an 'm' rating doesn't automatically mean there's going to be smut :P**

* * *

We only had to travel two blocks, LJ was actually impatient while waiting for Castle to assist me with my wheelchair but when we got inside the store, she halted in her tracks. There were displays upon displays of different eyewear on every wall for starters, but what eeked LJ out was that everything was too bright, calm and clean for her liking. She was rescued by one of the store salespeople a few moments later. What put LJ at ease besides the woman's friendly nature was that she was wearing glasses.

* * *

"Welcome to LensCrafters, my name is Annabeth. How may I help you today?"

"We are the Castles, and we were just sent here from Saint Brigid's Hospital by Doctor Castillo." Castle explained. "Our daughter has just been diagnosed with twenty-forty vision, and we were able to get prescriptions for lenses written out for her."

"May I see the prescriptions, please?"

Castle fished them out of his wallet and handed them to Annabeth who studied them before handing them off to a passing lab tech. LJ's attention had been wandering by now, so she gave a little start when Annabeth spoke to her.

"What's your name, sweetie?"

"Lily Joy, and I'm six."

"Do you want to come see the display on the back wall?"

"Okay," (LJ started following Annabeth closely, afraid to lose her) "But do you have bendy frames?"

"I just set up the display for that this morning, actually!"

"Wow! Do you have green or blue?"

"We have every color of the rainbow."

"What about sports goggles for archery? I need those, too."

"We've got everything you need and more, Lily Joy; look."

We'd arrived at the extensive back wall display, and two seconds later, LJ was a tornado of activity as she tried on various frames. At one point, Annabeth advised Castle and I on the importance of getting back up sets, and just as we agreed this was a good idea, LJ sauntered up to us, looking proud of herself.

"Mama, daddy, Annabeth, what about these?"

The pair in question were dark blue and rectangularly-shaped with the arms looping all the way down behind her ears to ensure they'd stay secure. As a whole, she'd actually picked out a really good frame.

"I like them, LJ." I told her. "Very snazzy."

"The blue really brings out your eyes." Added Castle. "Have they always been so dazzling and sparkly?"

LJ was reduced to giggles by this, and it was a minute before she had a good enough handle to focus on the ever-patient Annabeth's questions.

"Do they fit well? Not too tight?"

"They're all nice and snug!"

"Fantastic! Are they tight on your ears?"

"Nope, they're perfect! I have a question, though…"

"Ask away; I love when people ask me questions about glasses."

"Why don't these frames have lenses?"

"They're just for display and trying on, so they don't need any."

"Oh."

"But I have a special surprise for you about your eyewear."

"Annabeth, I love surprises! How special is it?"

"So special that the lenses will turn turquoise or purple when you're in bright light, depending on the color you choose."

LJ knew immediately. "Purple."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep!"

"Then I'll make sure my technicians know. Do you have any more things you want to ask?"

"Sometimes I get super awful headaches. Could the glasses and the goggles keep them away?"

"Not entirely, but they can. Are you ready to look at the goggles now? They're over here."

Annabeth showed her the new display, but I wasn't able to see the deciding process because the baby suddenly pressed all of her weight on my bladder, so that by the time I returned from the bathroom, LJ was grinning at me from behind a frame of what looked more like the kind of glasses I wear when I'm at the shooting range, more than anything else. Like the earlier selection of glasses that she'd picked, this new frame was also rectangular but with silver frames and turquoise arms. What constituted them as goggles was the adjustable strap on the ends of the arms to keep them secure when worn.

"Mama, what do you think?"

"That you are looking fantastic, Lily; you made anther great choice!"

LJ made a happy trilling noise and removed the goggles, handing them off to Annabeth, who then gave us a specific time to come pick everything up. We killed time by going a few blocks over to finally eat at Remy's, whereupon LJ scarfed her meal down because she hadn't eaten since breakfast.

When we went back to LensCrafters to collect everything, LJ wouldn't stop yapping away about about the details in her surroundings, but she felt blessedly silent when we picked up Jameson and the twins from daycare. That was mostly because they were all giving her curious looks, trying to figure out what to make of their big sister's change in appearance. It made me wonder how things will go tomorrow at school when LJ goes back tomorrow.

* * *

_Later that night _

* * *

LJ was quiet for the rest of the day, even when she came to visit me at bedtime. Her eyes were so magnified by her glasses that she reminded me of a baby owl.

"Hey, you! What's up?"

"I'm worried about school tomorrow. What if I get teased because I have glasses now?"

"You ignore the bullying, but if it gets worse, tell a teacher."

"And maybe I could stick with Inga since she has glasses and she's on my archery team."

"That's a good idea, she seems really nice." I patted the space next to me. "Climb up here; I want to show you something."

LJ obliged and I showed her the large leather-bound tome I'd been looking through.

"I've never seen this before. What is it?"

"It's a photo album that my mama made right before she went to be with the angels." I explained. "My daddy gave it back to me the other day."

"That's neat."

"Yes, it is." I flipped a page. "Look at this picture."

LJ gaped at it in surprise and then hugged as much of me as she could.

We were looking at my eighth grade school picture, when I was going through my awkward phase, and besides a hairstyle and outfit that makes me cringe nowadays, I was wearing thick black-rimmed nerd style glasses that made my eyes look too big for my face.

_"You_ had glasses, _too?"_

"I got my first pair when I was eight."

She leaned closer and fidgeted as the baby nudged her. "Why don't you have them now?"

"In college, I moved to California for school and decided to get contacts. Do you know what those are?"

"Little round pieces of plastic some grown-ups put on their eyeballs to help them see better." She paused. "Mama, did you never show these pictures because they were at Papa Jim's house?"

"That's right."

Satisfied, she looked back at the photo of my teenage self.

"It's funny to see a picture of you with glasses on, but it makes me feel way better."

"I'm glad."

"Were you bullied?"

I nodded. "But I stood my ground to show the bullies I wasn't going to let them shove me around."

"Ever pick fights with them?"

"Not about my glasses."

"So you have picked fights before?"

"Lily Joy, I'm not proud of it, but I picked quite a few after my mama went to be with the angels."

"Did you ever get hurt?"

"Many times, and one of those times, I was protecting Madison."

"So you'd do anything to protect your buddies?"

"That, and I also care about my friends. It makes my heart sad when they're hurt or in trouble."

"I feel that way about my buddies…"

"And that's because you have a really big and beautiful heart that's just overflowing with love that you'll pass along to your babies when you're a mama one day."

LJ giggled. "When me and my Zeke are grown-ups and married to each other, we'll adopt two babies from Argentina because that's where Zeke's daddy is from. Tiny babies all over the world will always need forever families, like how I did."

"Why two babies, though?"

"Because what if there's a brother and sister up for adoption? We're not gonna fall in love with two and only pick one because it would be wrong to be keep them apart from each other, like how my mommy kept me, Alexis and Abby away from each other! All siblings belong _together!"_

Knowing how precious of a subject siblinghood is to her, especially her sisters from Meredith, I made a general noise of agreement and changed the subject.

"Any other places you and Zeke would adopt from?"

"Ethiopia."

"Why there?"

"I'm learning about it in class." LJ stretched out and yawned. "We might also choose China because that's the country that Zeke's class is learning about. Mama, I'm so sleepy. Could I cuddle with you since I can't keep my eyes open?"

"Sure thing, but you have to take your glasses off and put them on the nightstand so they don't get lost."

LJ did what she was told in a sluggish manner, and eventually, she was curled up under the blankets, pressing her body against mine, for once not minding my huge baby bump.

"I love you forever, mama." She yawned again. "Forever and ever."

I put away the photo album and shut off the light before snuggling with her.

"And I love you, precious girl." I whispered in her ear. "Forever and ever."

All I heard in response was a peaceful sigh of contentment.

My heart melted.


	5. Jeffery And Olivia

**I can still see everybody who is favoriting and subscribing, you know. A review from you lot would be nice :P**

* * *

_Next day, 5:30 PM_

* * *

I always love one-on-one cuddling with my kids for many reasons, including how they each charming and unique personalities that are fun to watch.

For starters, Alexis is very sweet and compassionate, while LJ is very sassy and makes it known how much she loves archery and theater acting. Jameson is a typical two-year-old boy who is constantly on the go, but he'll come to a screeching halt if you put a book in his hands. Jeremiah is the only one who actually likes baseball, but he's also the only one with a 'mama's boy' personality. Johanna, his twin, is about to be dethroned as the youngest, and but she's already learned that if she makes enough noise, somebody will eventually give her what she wants. Her soft spot, however, is piano music and she loves that LJ is teaching her how to play. The baby likes to show me who's boss by kicking me all the time, and she's turning out to be stronger and sassier than the rest of her siblings. This probably means that she'll be the only one of the bunch who has a streak of rebellion like I did…

All of kids bring something different to the table, but it's LJ's deep insights on life and siblinghood that stay with me the most. What she said last night about how all siblings have to stick together struck a cord with me because during my pregnancy with the twins, I met my two long-lost teenage half-siblings, Jeffery and Sophia. To make a long story short, they were conceived when my mother was raped by one of the men who part of the conspiracy to kill her.

Both twins have since joined the police academy and they're doing fantastic. They like hanging out with the rest of us, but it's clear where their compassion and dedication lie.

At Christmastime, I learned that Jeffery has a girlfriend named Olivia Montri, and that they really love each other. A few days ago, Jeffery asked if he could could introduce her to me first because as his oldest sibling, he wants my approval. He also asked if Castle could also come, but my husband wasn't able to make it, so he sent Martha in his place. My brother was fine with the change because Martha has taken to treating him and Sophia as her grandchildren.

That's how Martha and I found ourselves making small talk at The Busker's Holiday, a cute old-school Irish bakery pub on Fifth Avenue, while we waited for the other two to arrive.

* * *

"Remind me again why Olivia is wheelchair-bound."

"She broke her leg during a skiing vaction during the holidays by wiping out on one of the hardest slopes." I explained. "The wheelchair is a means of convenient transportation since she's in a cast."

Martha nodded but then looked a little lost in thought. "How is Krista doing? I know this place is run by her mother."

"For a recently widowed woman with three kids, including a newborn, and for someone who has also discovered facts about her origins, she's hanging in there; Shayna, Jordan and even Kingston Queller are looking after them. Why do you ask?"

"Although I did come into an inheritance from Chet that helped start my acting school, the Rileys have been involved with the whole thing almost from the start. Krista and Gavin went to many of my productions, and they even enrolled little Savannah in the children's acting program. Jacob does the lighting most of the time for my in-house productions."

"The Rileys are very special to you, then."

She nodded. "It's been two months now since Gavin died, and I haven't quite figured out how to help out."

"Even if it's anonymously, maybe you could send some grocery money. Krista's in a bad place and won't be at work for awhile, but she still has to feed herself and the kids. Maybe something like that…"

Martha took my words into consideration but then smiled when she caught sight of Jeffery pushing Olivia in her wheelchair towards our table. At five feet, ten inches with a lean build, I saw traces of my mother in Jeffery, although the rest of his features were inherited from his father. I've seen Olivia's picture before, but she was far more beautiful in person. Of Southeastern Asian descent, she had light copper-colored skin, brown almond-shaped eyes, and silky black shoulder-length hair. Both she and Jeffery were dressed appropriately for the depressingly slushy March weather, but their happy smiles immediately made everything better as they joined us.

"Hey, you guys made it! Jeffery, will you introduce us now?"

He nodded and turned to his girlfriend, gesturing towards me as he spoke. "Olivia, this is my older sister, Kate Castle, and she's captain of the homicide division at the Twelfth, but she's currently on sabbatical at the moment, and is expecting her sixth child."

"Six kids?" Olivia sounded fascinated. "I only have a little sister whom I love and adore, but you never know if she's all there."

"Well, in our family, there's always a person or two around, so there's never a dull moment. I figured I should warn you before the little ones, namely mine, come after you like a pack of over enthusiastic wolf pups."

Olivia giggled and then stuck a hand out to Martha. "And you're Martha Rodgers; I recognize you from your Broadway productions. My whole family loves theater, and I've been attending your productions for as long as I can remember."

"Oh, I like you, darling. Do you act?"

"In the summertime, when I'm a counselor at a theater camp in Albany. I've been part of the program since I was five, and I've been a counselor since I was fifteen."

Martha was immediately won over, as was I, and the four of us fell into a fun conversations about our hobbies. It wasn't until after our food had been brought to our table that I asked a question I was dying to know the answer to.

"Jeffery says that two were assigned to the Special Victims Unit under Olivia Stabler's command at the Sixteenth Precinct, but it's not how you met in the first place. How did that actually come about?"

"After I got back from camp in August, I was at the new Barnes & Noble in Times Square," Olivia began to explain. "And I was looking through the cookbook section for a book on Thai recipes to make for my grandparents who were flying in from Thailand the day after. Jeffery was a few feet away, looking for a cookbook, too."

I raised an eyebrow at my brother. "You cook?"

"I was actually looking for two particular Japanese cookbooks Amaya had sent me to look for. At the time, the search wasn't going well because I hadn't eaten all day, and being in the cookbook section just made me hungrier!"

He suddenly tucked into his meal as if the memory made him hungry all over again. Olivia just shook her head and continued the story.

"I don't speak or read Japanese, but I saw Jeffrey struggling and offered to help. We found what we were looking for, and as thanks, he bought me lunch. The rest is history, and I've never been so happy."

Martha and I let out a collective "Awww!" as Olivia leaned over and gave Jeffery a peck on the cheek before excusing herself from the table to look for the restroom. When she was out of sight, Jeffery let out a sigh of relief, looking like an eager child with a secret he couldn't keep.

"Bee in your bonnet, kiddo?" Martha asked.

He shook his head. "I want you two to be the first to know: at some point next year or a little after, I'm going to ask Olivia to marry me."

I let out an excited squeal, ignoring the baby as she gave me a punch in the side.

"Oh, Jeffery, that's wonderful; she's a nice girl, and you look so happy with her. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Kate!"

"I'm happy for you, too." Martha added.

Jeffery was pleased by our approval, but he became wary when he saw me fix him with an inquiring look.

"What?"

You've been together for what, seven months?"

"As of today."

"How do you know she's your one-and-done?"

"I could go on for hours and hours, but we don't have that kind of time, so I'll say that Olivia is my best friend, my other half, my princess, whatever you want to call it. I look at her and I just know. She even accepts me, knowing all about the hell that Sophia and I went through when we were growing up, not knowing who are parents really are, and plus, my girlfriend feels and returns all of the love and affection I show her on a daily basis. If neither of us felt the attraction, we would've stayed friends, and I wouldn't have met either of her parents, or her nonverbal autistic sister who is only five. All of them accepted me straight away because I make Olivia happy."

"Then this is really serious, then. Why haven't you introduced her to dad and Amaya yet?"

(To make a long story even shorter, my dad and my stepmother adopted my brother and sister)

"I have cold feet."

"Have you and Olivia had sex?"

Jeffery almost spat out his lemonade in mid-inquiry. "No, Kate, jeez! We'd both like to be parents one day, but not yet, and we decided the first time we'll actually have sex will be on our wedding night because we want it to be special!"

Now I just couldn't help it. "Planning your wedding already, huh? I thought that fell mostly to the bride…"

Jeffery turned to Martha for help as I tried to conceal my smugness, but my mother-in-law saw through my façade.

"You stop teasing your brother; I don't think he can turn any more red than he has. Eat your dinner." She softened up when she turned to Jeffery. "I know you didn't grow up with older siblings, much less one as protective as Kate, but when she throws you a curveball, it's best to just duck. Also, look sharp because Olivia's coming back."

When the aforementioned young woman pulled her wheelchair up to the table and took in Jeffery's reddened face, my sudden interest in my food, and Martha's look of exasperation, unsure what to make of it.

"I was gone for five minutes! What happened here?"

"Nothing I couldn't manage, darling." Martha put a dessert menu into her hands. "I hope you saved room because dessert is on me tonight."

Swayed by the generosity, Olivia began looking through the menu with Jeffery, talking about something they could split. Martha also busied herself with looking for a treat, but I already knew what I wanted, so I let my mind wander.

…Olivia is definitely a keeper, and if my mother was still alive to meet her, she'd love her as much as I do…

…Speaking of people meeting Olivia, I really hope that dad and Amaya can meet her soon, especially since Jeffery has already met both of Olivia's parents and her little sister…

…Olivia seems like a really fun person, so I'm sure that Castle and even the kids will also welcome her with open arms…

…Even if Jeffery's and Olivia's wedding happens ten years from now, it'll be a day that we're all going to remember forever…

…And Olivia Iphigenia Beckett has a great ring to it…

…But I'm getting a head of myself…

…I need to place my dessert order now…


	6. Getaway, Part One

_March 14, one week later_

_Virginia Beach, Virginia_

* * *

I've been pregnant three times now, but never got a chance to leave town, even for a change of scenery when the baby or babies were driving me particularly bonkers. During my first pregnancy, I was getting to know LJ while trying to fix hers and Alexis' broken hearts, and there was also the turn in my mother's case to deal with, as well as the resurfacing of Jordan Shaw and the brief abduction of Alexis and Lily Joy. My second pregnancy was okay up until I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and put onto strict hospital bed rest to ensure the safety and health of the twins. (There was also the aftermath of Meredith's murder to deal with) I'm currently in the third trimester of my third pregnancy and enjoying it for the most part, despite undertaking intense physical therapy to rehabilitate my injured ankle. A major perk of not being in a constant state of stress or boredom means that the baby is very healthy and content, and as a reward, Castle and I can finally have a little getaway!

We decided on Virginia Beach, mostly because it's only six hours outside of Manhattan, and we didn't feel like going to our Hamptons house. The kids weren't happy about us leaving, but they changed their minds when they realized Martha and her sister Serenity would be babysitting. I slept for most of the ride, and even with stops, we arrived at our beachside hotel in exactly six hours, just in time for dinner. We checked into our second floor master suite and put our things away, but I began feeling agitated because the baby was wide awake and kicking hard just because she could, all while making the material of my clothes suddenly feel too confining.

Only one way to solve _that_ problem.

* * *

"Uh, Kate? Why are you sitting in the middle of the bed in just your panties? Aren't you cold?"

I threw a pillow at him. "No, I'm not _cold,_ because I'm actually pretty warm, seeing as on my birthday in July, I was turned into a human incubator for your unborn daughter who is currently kicking the shit out of me because she thinks it's fucking _hilarious, _andI tookmy clothes off because everything felt too uncomfortable!"

Castle raised his eyebrows at the foul language but said nothing.

"I just want this to be over because the baby is driving me up the wall! And another thing: until you've spent thirty-something weeks growing a baby or two in _your_ body, you're not allowed to ask any questions about being cold!"

He still didn't say anything because he didn't want me to bite his head off. I tried to stare him down to get my point across, but the baby had started kicking up a storm, so I just sighed in resignation and blew out a breath as the baby changed her tactics by running her knees and elbows along my navel area.

"And now she's giving me what I deserve because I got upset and swore."

Castle moved closer. "Is she mad at you?"

"Yeah." I ran a hand over my baby bump, looking down at it. "Sorry about that, my Little Bunny. Daddy and I promise it gets better."

Amazingly, she calmed down and pressed the bottom of her left foot against my palm. Castle pulled me to the edge of the bed and sat next to me, giving me a back rub.

"Is she calmer now?"

I nodded, pulling off his shirt and running my hands up and down his broad chest. Castle was a little taken aback, but he went with the flow as I continued.

"But she's probably going to start kicking in five minutes again to remind me to get some food."

"There's a buffet dinner that starts in a little while. Do you want to go or call in for some room service?"

"I'd rather ask for ice cream, strawberries and chocolate sauce, instead. This could be one of those nights where I could let your imagination run away with you." I was now teasing the area of his torso just above his jeans button. "What do you think?"

Castle gave an audible gulp. "I think that… my pants are way too tight."

Sighing in disappointment, I pulled away. "Way to kill the moment, Rick. It's a cold shower for you."

"Awww, come on!"

He undid his pants and shimmied out of them but when I arched an expectant eyebrow at him, he removed his boxers, too.

"Nope. Do you think I want to be in a cold shower or do anything to get the baby mad at me again? I need to get dressed because this," I swept a hand over my half-naked body. "Is for your eyes only."

He nodded in agreement and headed towards the bathroom. I heard the shower going about a minute later, accompanied by him loudly singing the theme song to that old show _Firefly,_ as means to take his mind off the cold water I'd subjected him to. I felt the baby stretching out lazily inside of me, but I didn't pay her much attention as I kept looking in the direction of the bathroom.

"Oh, who am I kidding?"

Removing my bra, I hoisted myself off the bed and then with my trusty forearm crutches, I managed to walk all the way over to where my husband was. Watching his towering naked silhouette through the frosted shower door, I laughed when I realized he was too far gone in one of his fantasies to see me. I brought him back to reality by calling out.

"Hey, Kitten, you better change the water because I'm coming in!"

He gave a yelp of surprise but turned the knobs quickly before he let me in. Although surprised, he was with me enough to close the door and hold me as close as my big belly would permit as the now pleasantly warm spray of water cascaded over our bodies.

"What about the buffet? I thought you wanted to go…"

I pushed him against the wall of the shower stall and using a nearby bar of soap, I began lathering up his chest and arms very slowly and methodically. "Since today is Friday and we won't be back until Monday night, I'd say that we could always go the dining room for breakfast in the morning."

"So this means we're getting room service, after all?"

"And a movie or two, as well."

I moved lower on Castle's body with the soap, smirking as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to concentrate on not losing control so soon. Sure, I was preying upon his horniness brought on by my third-trimester hormones, but it was too much fun to stop yet.

"Maybe we can get in a bit of shopping and even exploring after breakfast because the Virginia weather is way better than the weather back home. And maybe next year, when I'm all better, we'll take a trip on your birthday to that one topless beach in Australia you told me about that one time. What was it called again?"

"Bondi Beach…"

I gently raked my nails over his inner thighs. "That's what I thought."

By now, the water had washed the soap off his body, so I kissed my way back up Castle's body, starting with his inner thighs before working my way up his torso, chest and neck, finally pressing myself against him. Still not wanting to stop, I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a mind-imploding kiss. His only reaction was to swear fast and loud as he emptied himself onto the floor of the shower stall.

"Oh my God, Kate." He breathed through heavy pants. "Oh, my God…"

I sucked on his neck, almost enough to leave a hickey. "Did you like that?"

"Very much."

"Good." I reached around him and shut off the water. "Maybe if you're lucky, we'll have round two a little later on because all of that teasing has worked up my appetite."

Just to tease him one last time, I covered his body in kisses but again took my time around his thighs and groin. I knew he had been watching, completely spellbound, but when I stood up again, the blank expression on his face told me that I was losing him to his fantasies and fast, so I opened the stall door to let in the cold air and snapped my fingers in front of his face.

"Focus!"

That did the trick. "I am, I swear!"

"If you're not in bed with me in five minutes, I'll start ordering a full course meal without you, and since I'm eating for to, there are no telling what strange concoctions I might want."

I stepped out of the shower and donned one of the luxuriously soft cotton bathrobes hanging on the back of the bathroom door. Peeking back at Castle, I saw that he hadn't moved.

"Or maybe I'll just skip that and get the ice cream, strawberries and chocolate sauce."

Castle gave a noncommittal but deep groan at the idea.

"Your five minutes begin right now, Kitten!"

"Okay…"

I had just made it under the bedcovers when I heard the water turn on yet again.

Five minutes for him would be too cruel.

I enjoy being a tease every once in awhile, but I'll give him ten minutes.

That sounds fair enough.


	7. Getaway, Part Two

Our vacation in Virginia Beach ended too quickly, and before I knew it, we were back on the road to New York. Most of the time we have road trips, the kids are with us and there's nonstop noise unless they're sleeping or eating. We felt disconcerted by all of the free time at first and we took advantage of it many times during our getaway. However, the excitement wore off about an hour into the trip back when I wanted to read a book on raising dyslexic children that I'd bought from the local bookstore. Castle had no objections and just focused on driving.

I still broke the silence first, though.

* * *

"Rick, what if this baby ends up being the one who has a disability of some kind?" I sat the book down and rested my hands on my belly as the baby squirmed around. "LJ has dyslexia and twenty-forty vision, but we adopted her and most those issues come from Meredith's genes, anyway. Alexis doesn't share your genes because Meredith lied about Alexis' biological father. Jameson, Jeremiah and Johanna all fine, but they grew inside my body…"

"Are you worried that you might pass something down to this baby?"

"I am, and I don't know why we never considered it when I was pregnant before."

"As you said, Jameson and the twins are fine, so there's not much to worry about. LJ has bad eyesight and a learning disability, but at least it's not a life-threatening illness."

"Oh, don't say that." I shuddered. "We should definitely count our blessings, but Jordan did tell me that her mother, LJ's and Alexis' grandmother, is going blind. What if that happens to Alexis or LJ or even their baby sister, Abby?"

"Do you want to see a genetics counselor this week to check if we're carriers for anything?"

"Maybe, maybe not. What do you think?"

"It's your call."

"Then no, let's not go. It feels like I'm reading too much into it."

"But now you've engaged my curiosity!" he protested. "What if we find out in the next few years that the baby actually does have some kind of condition that's on a higher scale than bad eyesight and an inability to discern letters properly?"

"A higher scale like what? Autism?"

Castle changed lanes. "Yeah, like autism. What if _that_ happens?"

"We'd take it as it comes because we're an unstoppable force, and we always will be, no matter what."

"Would we be able to handle it if one of our children 'special'?"

"I have no doubt that we would, and just off the top of my head, I know that autism alone affects only one out of every eighty-eight births and isn't properly diagnosed until about age three. It might not even happen."

"But if it does," he argued. "We should consider ourselves lucky because we already have a little experience with the condition because of Yoshi. It could end up being like that."

"But my stepbrother is high-functioning," I shifted as the baby kicked me with both feet. "So while he can pass himself off as a 'regular person' when he wants to and has a girlfriend and three kids now, he still flounders in certain social situations and doesn't quite read body language or facial expressions all the time. Plus, I know that crowds can sometimes overstimulate his brain, making him want to shut down."

"We should consider ourselves lucky if our baby girl has high-functioning autism or even Asperger's Syndrome because more things are known about those conditions."

"Rick, I'm touched that you know what much."

"I did my googling on it once…"

"Yoshi's just at one end of the spectrum, though and he's told me before that his is frustrating disorder to have, especially when he has trouble expressing his thoughts clearly."

"Poor guy," Castle sighed sympathetically. "But in all seriousness, what if the baby does get diagnosed with autism but turns out to be like Kingston Queller's little girl?"

"Miri Queller is a three-year-old with a proclivity towards being silent because she's primarily nonverbal. She doesn't even like being touched because physical contact with other people makes her uncomfortable!"

Again, Castle was quiet for a second, thinking as he drove. "Kate, I know you and how much you love being a mom to our kids and even a grandmother to our grandbabies. Would you have the patience to be a parent to our daughter if she's special needs child? It would require lots of time and patience, and I know I'd be able to handle it, but I'm her father. It's different because she's been growing inside of you, so no matter what, you two are going to be the ones with a stronger bond."

"Of course I'd have the patience; she's our child and I love her as much as I love the rest of her siblings."

"If indeed we encounter something like this any number of years down the road with any of the kids, how far would you go to help them out or better understand their needs?"

My answer came without hesitation. "I would quit my job."

"Really?"

"Really; as a mother, first and foremost duties are to love, protect and raise my children to the best of my abilities. If any of them are ever in trouble, I'd do everything in my power to get them out of it, and if I had to, I'd kill for them."

Having seen a sign for a rest stop a little while back, Castle was now pulling in and finding a parking spot. When he got the car situated, he turned to me, smiling.

"Knowing that you'd go that far for our kids makes me love you even more."

"If it wasn't true, I wouldn't have said it."

"What if it comes to pass, and we have a special needs child this time, genetics be damned?"

"Then we won't act like it's the end of the world or put our daughter on a pedestal; we just learn everything we can or get enough research in so we'll know how best to help her out."

"And if it turns out we've been letting our imaginations run away with us?"

I grinned. "Then I'd say that we got pretty damn lucky."


	8. Six Weeks Later

_April 25, 11:45 PM_

* * *

I am now nine months pregnant and a week overdue. The baby has made herself at home inside me, and at my doctor's appointment yesterday, it was decided that if nothing happens anytime soon, my labor will be induced. The baby doesn't have a name yet because Alexis called dibs on that a long time ago refuses to say anything about it before the birth. On the bright side, we finally finished putting the nursery together yesterday…

The only thing that has me concerned about the baby is that she refuses to change positions the way that she should by now. Instead of pointing her head downward, she's completely on her side, happy as a clam and has shown zero intentions of even turning over.

This baby also happens to be the most rambunctious on of the four I've carried to date, and she kicks me morning, noon and night.

Sleep hasn't been my friend.

* * *

The ringing of my cellphone startled me out of sleep and my body's abrupt reaction woke the baby up. Thinking it was play time, she immediately started bouncing around, making me moan in discomfort as I sat up and turned on my bedside lamp. My movements woke up Castle, but he just watched me as I answered my phone with a sleepy yawn.

"Hello?"

"Katie, it's Amaya."

Hearing my stepmother's voice this late made me sit up straighter.

"Are you and the kids okay?"

"We're fine, but it's about your dad. He's just heard some news."

"About…?"

"A nurse from Green Pines Hospice just called."

"My Oma and Opa Beckett live there."

"The nurse informed us that your Oma and Opa just passed away within an hour of each other."

"Oh…"

"I'm sorry about it."

I didn't say anything, so she tried again.

"You with me? Your tone was detached when you spoke."

"Well, it was their time because they were both one-hundred-and-one years old, plus they never liked me, and vice versa." I arched my back slightly as the baby kicked. "Let me talk to dad for a minute."

The rustling of bedsheets was heard on her end of the line and then my father's quiet voice was in my ear.

"Katie…"

"I'm so sorry about your parents, daddy."

"You're just saying that to be polite; I still remember how they always talked to you in German you when you were a kid even though you never had a clue what they were saying."

"One of my earliest memories is of mom surprising them by telling them off in German."

Dad gave a soft laugh. "She said to their faces that they were being rude, and that she wouldn't stand for it."

"What did I do? That part's fuzzy…"

"Even though you'd been crying and didn't quite understand anything, you interpreted your mother's sharp tone well and stared my parents down for emphasis, with your little hands on your hips. You looked like your mother's clone on that day, and you still do."

The blood in my face immediately rushed to my cheeks. "You're making me blush!"

"But I only speak the truth about those memories." He paused for a second. "Go back to bed, Katie."

"Okay." I agreed. "Rick and I will come visit tomorrow."

"See you then. Good night, baby girl. I love you."

"Good night, daddy. I love you, too."

Hanging up the phone and turning off the light, I laid back down and snuggled closer to Castle. He brushed my hair out of my face.

"Your grandparents just passed away?"

"Yeah, but I don't feel as sad as I should because we never got along."

"How is Jim taking it?"

"He's feeling a little shocked and I don't blame him, but I think he wanted to hear my voice. At least Amaya is taking care of him; I'm so glad they have each other, and sometimes I can't believe that baby Keiko just turned one in January or that my parents just had their one year wedding anniversary last week."

"Oh, how time flies." Castle kissed me and pulled the blankets back over us. "We should get some sleep before the kids make their way down here at six o'clock sharp."

(Almost every morning without fail, all of the kids come down and snuggle with us for a few more hours of sleep)

"Do you think they'll outgrow that phase when the baby comes?"

"I hope so."

* * *

_April 27, two days later_

* * *

Because my grandparents had both been over a hundred years old, and didn't have much in the way of possessions, meaning that it only took a day to sort out their affairs and get a burial in order. We didn't make a big deal about it because for as long as I remember, dad never forgave them for disliking mom because just she was born and raised in the Bronx, hailing from a poor-as-dirt German-Russian immigrant family. (Oma and Opa were straight-up German) The way my dad saw this whole thing, he just wanted get everything over with as quickly as possible.

On a gesture of good faith and friendship, once the rest of our family and friends heard about what happened, they all came to stand with us, even though they hadn't known my grandparents at all.

My dad was deeply touched by the number of the turnout to the point where he couldn't put his thanks into words, but Martha assured him that he didn't have to say anything because we all understood.

* * *

The burial is over now, but I haven't been able to get off my folding chair without having some kind of awful immediate pain in my back. I'm no stranger to backache during pregnancy, but whatever this is, it hurts more than it should and I literally cannot move a muscle.

* * *

"Kate, are you stuck? Do you need help?" Castle asked warily.

"No, but my back hurts like hell if I try to move." I winced as the lightly elbowed me in the side. "Don't ask how or why, but I think my back seized up."

"Then let help you stand."

"No!"

"Then at least let me bring the car to the edge of the parking lot!"

"Rick, I said no!"

"Mom, what's the matter?"

A new voice had joined the conversation and we looked over to see Alexis, Jessica Rose and Melissa walking up to us to see what was going on. When all three of them are in the same vicinity, they have a tendency to travel in a pack.

"What happened here?" Jessica was talking now. "Did Kate get hurt?"

"Her back seized up," Castle told them. "And now she's afraid to move."

Melissa looked at me with sympathy, extending her own hand. "My back did that when I was pregnant with Kitty because my scars would flare up. If it makes you feel better, I can help you to your car, instead."

Her tone of sincerity sat well with me, so I took her hand and let her pull me to my feet. Just as I'd suspected, the pain was very intense and I let out a few choice curse words as I regained my center of gravity. Melissa made me laugh a little when she told me that she'd sworn filthier and louder, but in Spanish when she had been the one in pain. On my other side, Alexis was happily spotting me, prepared to catch me if I teetered at all, and bringing up the rear were Castle and Jessica, the latter of whom had assigned herself the task of carrying my crutches.

All of that walking hurt, and although I was proud that I got as far as I did, there was a point when I stopped and let out a breath because of how much pain I was in. That was when both of my parents and my doctor-friend, Emily Ryan, caught up with us.

"Come on, Katie." Dad tried. "If you don't want Rick to bring the car closer, then let someone carry you to it. I'm sure that even Calvin or Jeffery could do it."

I shook my head. "The baby is acting really weird right now, and I won't risk compromising her."

"That's good thinking because we don't need either of you in distress." Emily clucked, slipping into doctor mode as she gave my belly a few methodical prods. "Has the baby changed positions?"

"No; it feels like she's stuck."

"Where are her head and feet?"

"Here and here." Leaning against Melissa, I touched a hand to either side of my belly. "I'm a week overdue now, but everything checked out fine at the last appointment! Why hasn't she changed positions yet?"

"I won't be able to tell you that or even why you're in so much pain until we get you checked out at the hospital."

"Not until I'm in labor!"

Amaya approached me now and looked me square in the eyes. "Kate, you are one of the strongest women I've ever known, and there will never be enough words to tell you how much I love you like I've known you forever, or to even convey how proud and honored I am to call you my stepdaughter, but there's one thing I definitely know how to say."

"What's that?"

"You are stubborn! I admire you, love you and cherish you, but you are very stubborn!"

I was a little taken aback because even though Amaya is only five years older than me, there she's never afraid to address me in the authoritative tone of a parent.

"Gee, thanks. Having one of my most domineering traits pointed out is just what I need right now."

"Katherine Joy, has occurred to you that you could be in labor _now?"_

Instead of giving a verbal response, a cry of pain escaped my lips as the baby finally changed positions. Instead of bring relieved, I grew even more worried because she was facing the wrong way altogether and the pain was enough to make my back hurt worse. I couldn't stop the tears, and the next thing I knew, I was falling to my knees as everyone around me sprang into action. Amaya caught me and sat with me on the slushy ground, making soothing noises as she rocked me in her arms. All air of scolding had evaporated.

"You two going to be okay, sweetie." She held one of my hands in hers. "If you have to, squeeze as hard as you can."

I did, and having a place to channel the pain made it slightly easier to talk. "She's changed positions, but her feet are pointed towards to birth canal now. Fuck, this _hurts!_ Amaya, I think you were correct about me being in labor!"

Not blinking an eye at the bad word or even saying 'I told you so,' my stepmother placed a tender but comforting kiss on my forehead. "Someone is calling 911, so help is on its way, and when the ambulance does come, Emily and I will both ride with you to watch over you and the baby. How does that sound?"

"Like a lovely plan." I grit my teeth when when a spasm of labor pain rippled through my abdomen. "Why does it hurt so much?"

"I promise we'll find out soon, precious. Just hang in there and keep squeezing my hand."

Her words were the last ones I heard before passing out.


	9. Getting Situated

**Joanna, this one is yours ;)**

**Also—it's my birthday tomorrow, so it would be fun to wake up to a few extra reviews!**

* * *

When I came to, I was in the ambulance, and my instincts told me that I was in labor, but why was I having trouble moving?

* * *

"What's going on?" I tried to sit up. "Is the baby okay?"

"Mister Castle!" an unfamiliar voice called out. "Please keep your wife still!"

Castle obliged and was gently pushing me back. "You need to be still, Kate."

"What's going on?"

"The paramedic had to give you a sedative, and Emily and Amaya are about to check on the baby."

I stayed still as the paramedic prepped my belly and then moved aside to let Emily and Amaya do the ultrasound with the handheld ultrasound machine. Amaya held the monitor for Emily to see while she checked on the baby. They consulted with each other in low tones for a minute, and I got upset.

"Seeing you two be hush-hush doesn't bolster my confidence! Is there something wrong with my daughter?"

"She's currently cozied against your spine and is quite literally sitting on one of your nerves." Emily answered calmly. "The sedative is to slow your contractions because you're dilated three centimeters."

"Are you slowing them down so we can have time to turn her?"

"Exactly." She nodded. "We'll take care of you at the hospital."

"How much longer until we get there?"

"Five minutes, Kate. You're doing well, just hang on."

* * *

Emily and Amaya took charge of the situation themselves after I was admitted to a private room, just to make sure the baby and I were given the attention we needed.

"What can we do to make her change positions," I wanted to know. "And why are we hooked up to heart monitors?"

"Both of your heartbeats were touch-and-go during the ride over because your body is really sensitive to the pain whenever the baby moves near the nerve she's nestled against." Emily explained. "That in turn caused her own heart to go into a frenzy, but we did get her stabilized. Since you've carried four babies now, I know you understand how responsive little ones are to their mama's heartbeats when they're still inside."

I nodded. "But we'll be okay, right?"

Amaya was the one to give me a reassuring smile. "Yes, you will be and if you lie back now, Emily will be able to start the ultrasound."

It was determined that the baby was in a complete breech position, which meant that her arms and legs were situated the way she needed to be, but she still wanted to come out feet first. And not only was the baby cozied up against my spine, but she had her own back pressed against it. To say I was uncomfortable was a total understatement.

"I'm open to ideas about turning the baby over, and the sooner the better; otherwise people's fingers might start to lose feeling."

(Beside me, Castle quickly moved his hands out of my reach)

"First, I need to know how far you're willing to go because this could take time." Emily informed me. "There are many, many options."

"As long as I don't feel hands in a weird place, I'll do anything."

"Fantastic," she chirped. "Because the first idea is a fun one!"

The next thing I knew, I was propped up against the bed headboard watching Amaya outfit my belly with wraparound fetal speakers tucked inside what looked like a Velcro harness. A gel ice pack wrapped in a small cloth was resting on the top of my belly, adjacent to the baby's head. According to Emily, once we plugged in one of our iPhones, the baby would be able to hear it and hopefully decide to move towards it. The baby can also feel the cold of the ice pack, so that could be another motivator to change positions.

We were _finally _left to our own devices a few minutes later.

"Richard Castle," I warned my husband as he plugged his phone into the speaker's headphone jack and selected a song. "If you start playing something ridiculous, you'll be sorry."

He set the phone down. "Although _Duel of the Fates _from _The Phantom Menace _is tempting, I actually chose Johanna's lullaby playlist."

"Which contains the scores from _August Rush_, _The Lion King _and _Pocahontas_, to name a few." I winced as the baby elbowed me. "Now all I can think about is feeling her stretch out in my arms…"

Castle spoke softly to the my belly. "Won't you turn over, baby girl? Mama would especially like it because it means the doctors won't have to cut her open to get you out!"

"Don't tell her that, you'll scare her!" I scolded as the baby pushed one of her feet against her daddy's palm. "We're trying to encourage her!"

"I thought it would help, and we have to teach all of our kids not to be afraid of ordinary things!"

"Your crime writer is showing," I teased him. "And if the kids could have heard their father categorize being cut open—even for surgical reasons—as 'ordinary,' they'd be afraid to ask about what happens in your head."

"Well, if we're going to be talking to Little Bunny and we can't talk about things like that, it would still help matters if we could at least address her by the name we're going to put on the birth certificate, right?"

Castle had a point because Alexis had long ago claimed the task of naming her sister.

"Touché. Why don't you text Alexis? I'm sure she's around here somewhere."

* * *

When Alexis finally arrived, she looked apprehensive. "Am I in trouble?"

"Not in the least." Castle promised. "Your baby sister isn't facing the right direction, so we're working on getting her to turn over. One of the things we're doing is talking to her."

"She's definitely responding to our voices," I added. "But it might be easier if we knew her name…"

"If she comes today, it's Elizabeth Grace Castle."

"That's a beautiful name, but it's three in the afternoon, and I'm not even halfway there; no way this kid is coming before midnight. What's your contingency plan?"

"Serenity, after Great-Aunt Serenity, and if she's born tomorrow, it's an added bonus because they'll be sharing a birthday."

(After more than twenty years of living abroad, Martha's older sister Serenity has moved back to Manhattan and in the time since, she's fit in with our family like she's always been here)

"I like the name Serenity more than Elizabeth, and not just because it's your great-aunt's name." I confessed. "Serenity means 'calm and peaceful,' two traits your sister could do well with right now."

"The name is perfect for our little warrior," Castle agreed. "But what's her middle name? Starting with you, Alexis, we have Alexis Katherine, Lily Joy Stana, Jameson Alexander, Jeremiah Richard Sebastian and Johanna Jordan Olga."

Alexis answered straight away. "Serenity Martha. That's my sister's name."

"After the family matriarchs." I smiled. "That's perfect."

"A lot of honor to live up to, but I think our girl can handle it." Castle leaned forward and pressed a few gentle kisses to my belly. "So how about it, Little Bunny? Is your name actually Serenity Martha Castle?"

I winced, feeling a tiny pair of hands and knees nail me in succession. What happened next had me gasping in surprise—the baby was actually beginning to change positions!

"Mom, what's wrong?" Alexis asked. "Should I go get Emily?"

I shook my head, smiling happily. "Not yet because your sister is actually turning over! You and dad should keep talking to her!"

Alexis gave an excited squeal and started to talk to Serenity even more.

"You're almost there, little one, so I know you can do it! Just a couple more wiggles and you and mama will be way more comfortable than you are now! Will you turn over for me? You're so close!"

It took a minute and little bit of me tilting my body to the side to accommodate Serenity's movements, but she finally flipped over got situated. Just to prove herself, she kicked so hard that the ice pack went flying and Alexis caught it.

"What was that?"

"Serenity proving to us that her feet are in the right place now." I answered happily. "She turned over because she heard you cheering her on!"

Alexis beamed. "Hey, that's great! Do you to feel better?"

"A million times, and I can even breathe a little easier." I reached out to catch her when she started to stand up. "Where are you going?"

"To find Emily and Amaya, so I can give them an update."

"Well, not so fast. We have something we want to tell you."

"Oh?"

"You can say no," Castle started. "And we'll totally understand, but after what just happened, there's no better time to say it—we'd like you to be with us in the delivery room."

Alexis' eyes immediately filled with tears because she was deeply touched and surprised at the same time. Castle quickly tacked on something else.

"We'd like for the first person that Serenity meets besides us to not only her precious sister, but her godmother, too."

"G-godmother? Me?" Alexis was crying openly, but they were tears of joy. "Why not the Ryans, the Espositos, the Shaws, the Àlvarezs or the Singhs?"

"Jenny and Kevin are Lily's godparents, Lanie and Javi and Madison and Nicolas are Jameson's, Juliana and Jalil are Jeremiah's, and Jordan and Rafferty's are Johanna's. You've always been on the list of people we'd ask, Alexis, and it's finally your turn. Will you take on the responsibilities and duties of being Serenity's godmother?"

She nodded eagerly. "I absolutely will; thank you so much for this!"

"You're welcome." Castle wiped her tears away. "Do you think Ashley will accept the responsibilities of being Serenity's godfather?"

"Without a doubt! Can I go find him to tell him?"

"Of course, and if you see Emily or Amaya, send them over here." I told her. "Above all, though, don't be gone for too long because I want you to be in the loop about the labor."

"Okay, but does this make me your errand monkey now?"

"Yes, but be back in fifteen minutes!"

"She's only giving you fifteen minutes because she'll want you to braid her hair." Castle mumbled. "I'd do it, but apparently, I make 'sucky' braids. Ow!"

I had slugged him in the shoulder. "That's for complaining and keeping my errand monkey here!"

Castle gave a huff of indignation as Alexis giggled at his misery and left us, promising to return quickly.

"How are you feeling, Kate?" my husband asked a few moments later.

"Very peaceful, but also really tired."

Castle lifted one of my hands to his lips and kissed it. "Then close your eyes for a few minutes and relax."

Already slipping into a state of relaxation despite my condition, I yawned sleepily and let my eyelids droop.

"Okay, great. Talk to you a few…"


	10. Almost Time

"Mom? Mom, you need to wake up now…"

A soft voice shook me from my slumber, I saw that Alexis was leaning over from her chair and shaking my shoulder gently.

"Hi, Sunshine." I yawned. "How long was I asleep?"

"Three hours."

"Where's dad?"

"He went home for a little bit so the kids didn't stage a coup against Gram, Serenity, Jordan or Rafferty."

"The Shaws are at our house?"

Alexis nodded. "They volunteered and wouldn't take no for an answer because we are their family."

"The Shaws are some of the most loyal people I've ever known."

My body suddenly stiffened as I felt the baby kick me.

"Damn, why does this kid have to be so strong-willed? Give me your hand!"

Alexis did as she was told and coached me through the pain until it subsided.

"How much longer until dad gets back?" I asked.

"He sent me a text about five minutes ago saying he was getting ready to leave."

The words were barely out of her mouth when a familiar Skype ring filled the air.

"He's calling me…"

Alexis fished her tablet from her bag and answered the call, but instead of Castle being on the other end, it was LJ and I had no trouble hearing her loud voice.

"Lexie, where is mama? We wanna talk to her!"

Alexis handed me the tablet, and I was immediately greeted by the grinning faces of Lily, Jameson, Jeremiah and Johanna.

"Hi, babies!" I cooed, more awake now. "Thanks for calling me!"

The little ones blew kisses as LJ took charge.

"Mama, we just wanted to say hi since we can't visit!"

"An' I love you!" two-year-old Jameson added, leaning in. "Very lots!"

"I love you, too, my little Nemo."

The old nickname caused him to dissolve into giggles, and he fell back against the couch, so Jeremiah got his thoughts in.

"Love mama!"

"Me, too!" Johanna threw in, blowing another kiss. "Love baby!"

"And she loves you, too, Joey. So do I."

"Me?" Jeremiah pointed to himself.

"You, too. Don't you worry, my Duckling."

He grinned and then sat back as LJ seized control of the tablet again.

"Mama, will you double check to make sure that she doesn't have wonky eyes like mine?"

"You bet, Baby Bird. Anything else?"

"Could you give her extra kisses from me, Jamie and the twins, too?"

"Of course! Where's daddy?"

LJ handed the tablet off to Castle took it to another part of the room he was in, appearing calm and collected.

"I'm on my way out the door now, Kate. I was about to leave when they all ganged up on me, asking to call you."

"What are they doing now?"

"Discussing with Jordan what Pixar movie to watch."

"Sounds like a good time to vamoose."

"I intend to, and before you ask—I have your hospital bag ready by the door."

"Is the porcupine toy in it? LJ will be tickled that we decided to use it as the baby's first stuffed animal."

"I put it in yesterday." He paused, stealing a quick glance at something out of my sight range. "The _Toy Story _theme is playing, so it's now or never. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

We hung up and I handed the tablet back to Alexis, who put it on my bedside table.

"Do you need anything, mom?"

"Just one of my doctors." I shifted, trying to get comfortable. "Surely I'm more than three centimeters dilated by now."

"Well, here's hoping that you are."

She pressed the 'call doctor' button and for lack of better things to do, I just waited.

* * *

The universe has decided to conspire against me now because when Emily checked on my progress, I'd gone from three centimeters to six. Unfortunately, I still had four more centimeters to go and it just went without saying that it was going to be more than a few hours before there was any action. Much to my dismay, that meant even more waiting to pass the time, and even after Castle returned, I got so bored that I went back to sleep.

* * *

I was woken some hours later by Amaya this time.

"Hey, Katie-girl, it's time to wake up again!"

"Where's Emily?" I looked around and saw that we were the only ones in the room. "Where are Rick and Alexis? What time is it?"

"One of Emily's high-priority patients went into labor about fifteen minutes ago, so it looks like I'll be overseeing the delivery, instead. It's about three-thirty in the morning, and your husband and daughter just went down the hall to change into scrubs because your contractions are almost on top of each other."

My heart leapt into my throat upon hearing this development. "I'm flying so high on the epidural that I can't feel the contractions, but I'm surprised that I haven't started talking nonsense yet. Tell me if I do…"

"I promise I will."

My stepmother had been watching the monitors and checking my centimeters of dilation while we'd been talking, and when she was done with that part, she stood and was beaming at me.

"Guess what, sweetie? As soon as Rick and Alexis come back, we can get you off to the delivery wing!"

"Fantastic…"

I gave a small moan of discomfort and massaged my lower belly, which immediately put her on guard.

"I thought you couldn't feel anything!"

"Well, I definitely can't feel the contractions, but I'm starting to feel Serenity's kicks through the epidural." I blew out a breath. "Jamie and the twins weren't like this, Amaya, so why is this one giving me so much grief?"

"Maybe she inherited your admirable strength."

"I think this is a trait she got from my mom's side of the family…"

I let out a frustrated yell as I felt another kick.

"Damn this pain; I am _never _having kids again! I love all six of my babies, but I don't want have this kind of drama ever again! All I want is to just hold Serenity against my chest and kiss her!"

Amaya patiently held my hand as I swore my way through a few more kicks and punches. When it was over, she spoke with the tender love and affection of a mother.

"Kate, you're doing so well and I'm so proud of you!" she kissed my forehead. "Now look towards the doorway!"

I did, and my whole body flooded with relief when I saw Castle and Alexis both standing there, dressed in mint green scrubs, ready to go. Turning back to Amaya, I asked the only question on my mind.

"Time to get the show on the road?"

"Absolutely."

Hooray!


	11. Baby Serenity

Once I was prepped, Alexis tied my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head to keep it out of my eyes, and not a moment too soon because I let out a small yelp of pain that had Castle rushing over.

* * *

"Kate, what's wrong?"

"The painkillers are already wearing off and I can feel Serenity's kicks again! I need another epidural!"

Amaya spoke up as she set my feet up in the birthing bed stirrups. "I'm sorry, but there's no time for that."

_"WHAT?"_

"Don't raise your voice just yet, and there's no time to administer any more medication because your contractions are almost right on top of each other."

Her words hand me slipping into the zone and when I asked Alexis to get ready, she and Castle got themselves situated for the long haul—her behind me, propping her legs up on either side to keep me balanced while Castle stood on my other side, holding my hand—and we looked over at Amaya as she sat on a stool at the foot of my bed, all business.

"All right, Kate—you have to push on the next contraction, so get ready!"

I braced myself.

"Push, Kate!" barked Amaya. _"Now!" _

I immediately let myself succumb to the overwhelming, almost primal urge to push.

"Shit, this hurts!" I glared dangerously at Castle as I took a breather a few moments later. "We are _never _having any more babies!"

"Okay." He nodded. "Serenity is our last!"

"Damn fucking straight!"

Amaya's voice cut through the conversation, but this time she was talking to Alexis. "I want you to hold Kate's hands tighter because she needs to push longer this time!"

And so it went for two more hours, with me eventually in tears and ready to give up.

"No, I won't push anymore; I'm done!"

"But she's almost all the way out!" Alexis was pleading. "Please, mom?"

"No! Serenity has been the hardest baby I've ever delivered!"

"I've also given birth, but I pushed Natalie out longer than I pushed Tobias, and that was longer than you've been pushing Serenity! If I did that twice in less than three years without epidurals, and you've already had three babies, this should be a snap!"

Alexis' pep talk gave me a second wind, so I sat up and looked to Castle for some reassurance.

"I can do it, right, Rick?"

"Right, Kate." He kissed my forehead and held my hand again. "You can do it!"

I nodded and on Amaya's go ahead, I bore down a few more times and loudly cursed my way through the final contractions until I heard the baby's first loud and healthy cries of life, immediately followed by Amaya's joyful announcement.

"Serenity is here, and she's perfect!"

Alexis caught me as I fell back in exhaustion.

"Mom, I'm so proud of you! Great job!"

"Thanks, Lex."

When he returned from cutting the umbilical cord, Castle helped Alexis off the bed and sent her over to where Amaya was already taking care of Serenity. I had to force myself to focus on the task at hand because there was still the matter of pushing out the placenta, and when that was over, I was finally able to relax for a few more minutes. I melted when Castle gave me a passionate kiss on the lips.

"I love you, Kate, and I'm so proud of you."

"The final tally is four girls and two boys now… I think we finally have what most people call a zoo…"

"No arguments there. We're in for a wild ride."

"Mom? Dad?"

We both looked up to see Alexis next to my bed, beaming with sisterly pride as she held Serenity close.

"I think someone is finally ready to say hello."

I held my arms out. "We're certainly ready to see her."

Alexis put the wiggly infant into my arms and the second we came into contact, it felt like all of the breath had been knocked out of my body, but in a good way.

"Hello, my sweet little Serenity." My voice was already heavy with emotion because she had stopped crying the second she recognized my voice. "I'm your mama, and the first thing I want to say is that there are never going to be enough words to describe how much I love you now and forever. I'm so glad you're here, but I also have to say—I was totally not a fan of all the grief you put me through, especially when you were constantly kicking."

As if remembering, Serenity kicked her little legs out while yawning hugely, and her blanket actually came loose. I fixed everything back up before she could start crying and gave her to Castle, who was just as in awe of her as I was.

"There you are, Serenity." He cooed softly to her. "I'm your daddy, and just like mama said, there will never be enough words to say how much I love you from the bottom of my heart. Unlike your mama, I'll be the one who teaches you about laser tag, story structure and pulling pranks, but in no particular order. It's no sweat if you want to rearrange those things at any time, though."

Out of impulse, he gave her a kiss on the nose and Serenity gave an audible sigh of contentment.

"Yeah, I love you, Little Bunny." Castle paused, suddenly curious. "Or are you actually our Little Porcupine, after all?"

I watched as he made sure she was comfortable before gently removing the knit cap from her head, and we saw that Serenity had a head of silky chocolate-brown hair, the same shade as mine. For some reason, Serenity's hair amused Castle and he gave a soft laugh.

"What's so funny?" I wanted to know.

"She's our Little Porcupine and Lily will find it hilarious, especially since she coined the nickname first."

I raised an eyebrow. "How did she become Little Porcupine?"

Castle put Serenity back in my arms. "Check out her hair."

I did and laughed when I saw what he was talking about. Now that Serenity's hair had had some time to air out and turn fuzzy, it looked like someone had taken the time to shape it into ramrod porcupine-like spikes. Anyone would've noticed them.

"You're definitely our Little Porcupine." I kissed my daughter's cheek and she puffed up her little chest, making me laugh again. "I hope you like that nickname because when your sister Lily Joy finds out that daddy and I do, you're going to be stuck with it for life."

* * *

After some rest and Serenity's first feeding and diaper change, we were moved to a recovery room I shooed Alexis home to kiss her kids and get the rest of her siblings to bring to the hospital. Meanwhile, Serenity was completely oblivious to the rest of the world as she enjoyed some skin-to-skin time with me. Castle sat in the rocking chair next to the bed, just watching us.

We were all experiencing the calm before the storm, but the fact that Serenity was reveling in the feeling of her bare skin against mine and snuggling closer to get more of my body heat made it all better.

"It looks like all Serenity wanted was to come out to meet her mama." Castle noted. "What do you think?"

"I think that this is heaven."


	12. Family Visiting

"I just got a text from Alexis—she says that she and everyone, including mother and Serenity, are on the way up in the elevator!" Castle looked up from his phone screen. "This oughta be good."

I looked down at Serenity and spoke sweetly to her. "What do you think? You're about to meet the rest of your family, including one of your grandmothers and your great-aunt! You up for that?"

Serenity's only response was to yawn and scrunch up in a ball.

"Speaking of your great-aunt, you share a birthday and a name with her! What do you make of that, huh?"

Yawn.

"Don't worry, Little Porcupine—if you get overwhelmed, just make some noise, and I'll come to your rescue."

Serenity yawned again as I gave her to Castle so he could dress her in some proper clothes while I put on my robe over my hopsital gown and tied it securely around my waist. The last thing I need is to risk flashing the kids and traumatizing them.

Just as we got settled, our visitors arrived and filed in quietly. LJ was in the lead, instructing Jameson, Jeremiah and Johanna on how to behave and the toddlers hung onto her every word because they wanted to meet their new sibling.

Jameson turned to Castle first. "Lif' up, daddy?"

Castle scooped him up in his arms, adressing him seriously. "Do you promise to be quiet and gentle, Sport?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Lily knows how to behave, but it's up to you to set an example for the twins."

Jameson gave Castle a kind of mock-salute. "Me do it!"

Satisfied, Castle set him and the twins down on my bed. LJ joined quickly, as did Alexis and they all cooed over Serenity, completely enamored with her. I wanted to freeze the moment, but my hopes were dashed as Toby, Abby and Natalie joined us because LJ got distracted and looked away from Serenity.

"Mama, what's her name?"

"Her nickname is 'Little Porcupine' because her hair has been sticking up like porcupine spikes. You lucked out."

LJ smiled and passed the baby to the elder Serenity because her arms were getting tired.

"What's my Little Porcupine's _real _name?"

"Serenity Martha."

The two aforementioned women heard my words and looked surprised.

"You named her after us?" asked Serenity, almost in disbelief. "That's very sweet."

Martha nodded in agreement. "That's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. Thank you."

"You're both very welcome, and who knows? Maybe she'll get the drama gene from you two."

"Not me." Serenity scoffed. "My sisters both seeped up all of the Churchill family 'drama gene.' If anything, Serenity will inherit my love of world travel."

Baby Serenity snuggled closer to her namesake, making the older woman melt before she looked at me.

"Thanks for letting me be part of your family after being gone for so long, Kate. This has definitely been my best birthday ever."

Before I could say anything, the baby started getting fussy—she was hungry—so Serenity gave her back to me and helped everyone get ready to go, but not before promising the baby that she'd come back soon.

Everyone was gone just as quickly as they'd come and asthe baby nursed, she conveyed her exhaustion by closing her eyes and wrapping a fist around one of my fingers.

"Big day so far, huh, Serenity? There's plenty more where that came from."

* * *

_Later, 5:50 PM_

* * *

We received a steady stream of guests all day, but it was towards the end of the day that the two people I wanted to see most finally came—my parents.

"We would've come sooner," Amaya explained as they sat in the chairs next to my bed. "But Tokutaro and Mitsunobu got into some trouble that needed sorting out. Everyone is back at the house, and Jessica and Yoshi are in charge. Keiko was the hardest to distract, but we can't bring her because she's going through this phase where she gets absolutely steaming jealous if she sees your dad or I spending time with anyone littler than her. I hope she outgrows it soon…"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Keiko isn't quite two yet, but you walked into this one—are you expecting a visit from the stork again?"

"Goodness, no!" she laughed it off. "Seven biological children, two adopted children and a stepchild amount to the perfect number, but if one of my friends is in need of a surrogate mother, I won't say no that one last time."

Dad laughed nerviously. "May I hold Serenity?"

I held her out to him. "Sure."

Once the baby was in dad's arms, he and Amaya fawned over Serenity, proud grandparents that they were. After a few minutes, I noticed that dad was getting misty-eyed.

"What's the matter?"

Dad cleared his throat. "It's nothing, Katie. Serenity is beautiful."

"Thank you."

Sensing that I wasn't about to let it go, he sighed.

"It's just that Serenity looks just like you did on the day you were born, straight down to her green eyes, that head of bushy hair and even that mohawk she's got going on."

"Really?"

He nodded. "You are your mother's clone, and now Serenity is yours already. It's kind of eeky."

I laughed. "You aren't ones to use words like 'eeky,' what being a retired English teacher and all."

Castle smirked. "It's _totally _weird seeing you use words like 'eeky,' Jim."

"But it _is _eeky!"

"Yeah, alright." I jumped in before they ganged up on each other. "Dad, I have a question."

"I hope I have an answer."

"When mom was pregnant with me, did I kick her a lot?"

"All the time. Your mother said you kicked her practically around the clock once you realized you had legs. I never heard your mother swear more in the whole time that I knew her, except for when she had the hiccups and you kicked in response to them."

"How'd you handle _that?" _

"I catered to her every whim but stayed the hell out of her throwing range. Why are you asking?"

"Serenity kicked me harder than Jameson and the twins put together. She even kicked while I was in labor!"

Dad winced. "Serenity is definitely her mother's daughter."

"So she's going to be the one who has the streak of rebellion, daily spiked hair and piercings like I used to sport?"

"She'll probably have a cooler motorcycle, to boot."

Amaya laughed softly. "I've seen those pictures; talk about strange amusing. I've also seen the ones from when you were four and your grandparents took you to the petting zoo where that goat—"

"Stop right there." I interrupted with a blush at the memory. "We're not talking about that!"

"Suit yourself, Katie-girl, but I think it's cute."

"Tell us anyway!" Castle piped up.

"No can do, Rick." My stepmother gave a disappointed sigh. "If my daughter says no, I have to listen."

"Shucks…"

Amaya's phone suddenly chimed at her, indicating a new text. She got read it and got to her feet.

"Sorry, kids, but we have to go."

Dad was perplexed by the abrupt change in plans. "We do?"

"Yes—that was from Sophia, because there is is apparently no 'good food' left in the house and nobody cad decide on what takeout to order. You rememmber what happened last time this went down!"

Dad shuddered and also stood, putting Serenity back in my arms. "Do I ever… it took ages to get the flour out of Shinju's hair and it took even longer to get the egg yolk out of Nozomi's."

"What are you talking about?" Castle and I asked in unison.

"Nothing!" the older couple answered together.

I just shook my head, making a mental note to ask one of my stepsiblings about it later.

"I guess everyone is off the hook this time. Thanks for coming…"

My voice trailed off in a yawn and parents understood how tired I was.

"Our pleasure," Amaya kissed my forehead and then spoke to Castle as she hugged him. "And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

"Congratulations on Serenity." Dad told me. "She's gorgeous."

I smiled, but felt a little sad. "What would mom say if she was here?"

"She'd say the same thing, but she would've been the first one to make the comment about Serenity being your mini carbon copy." Dad repeated Amaya's earlier action and kissed my forehead. "She's up there in Heaven with your baby sisters and smiling down on you, telling all the other angels that she has a new grandbaby to watch over. And I _know _she's as proud of you as I am."

The sad moment passed and I smiled again as my heart lightened. "Thanks, dad."

He kissed my forehead again and as we watched him leave with Amaya, I glanced at Serenity and saw she was definitely out for the count. Even in slumber, she continued to snuggle closer to me and sigh happily.

Seeing her that content at less than a day old made my heart turn to mush, and it filled me with an overwhelming peace that made me realize that dad was right—my mother is definitely smiling down on me today.


	13. We Need To Talk

**Warning: this one may be a tear-jerker!**

* * *

_May 5, two weeks later_

_1 PM_

* * *

Serenity is two weeks old now and adjusting well to life in a noisy household; mostly because she's got everybody wrapped her finger. Jeremiah, though…

He's totally smitten with Serenity and spends practically every waking moment with her and as a result of Jeremiah's constant doting, Serenity's motor skills and cognitive skills are developing on track. Their bond is one of the sweetest things I've ever seen.

Unfortunately, it makes naptime harder than it needs to be.

* * *

There's another thing I'm thinking about, though—my career plans for the next five years.

I hope Castle supports me.

* * *

"I cannot _wait _until everyone is passed the naptime stage." Castle sighed, plopping down next to me on our bed. "Jamie and Joey fell asleep fine, but Jed was just unreal…"

I nodded absently and put Serenity into Castle's arms. He took her but looked worried.

"Kate, what's wrong?"

"Rick, we need to talk."

He paled immediately and tightened his hold on Serenity so he didn't drop her.

"Please don't start a conversation like that—ever. It's how Meredith began talking about wanting a divorce and it's how Gina… how she…"

Castle broke down into tears like a heartbroken little boy and my own heart broke watching him. Putting aside my own woes, I sat next to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"What happened with Gina?"

He wiped his tears and sighed shakily. "You won't get mad that I kept this particular skeleton in the closet?"

"No."

"Gina used those words on the day she told me that she got an abortion."

My heart became filled with my husband's grief and fear.

"Rick, I'm so sorry!" I sat up and faced him. "I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry!"

"It's all right, Kate." He gave me a reassuring kiss and Serenity an extra cuddle. "There are days when it still hurts, finding out that I'd been a parent to a child I didn't know about until she became an angel, but knowing she's in Heaven, probably tagging along with your mom and sisters, is comforting."

"Wait a second—you said 'she'? Gina was far along enough to know the gender? Does Alexis know about this?"

"Alexis knows and Gina was just barely enough along, but yes—it was a girl, and she'd be fourteen by now."

"Would you have fought to keep her if Gina carried her to term still didn't want her?"

"With every fiber of my being. I could have loved Hannah and raised her alongside Alexis, given her anything or everything that she wanted… but that never happened…"

He cried again and I held him while I reassured him that I would never sink as low as Gina, and that we'd live to break the record for the world's longest married couple. That last part actually comforted him, and strangely enough, it also brought me comfort.

Wanting some attention, Serenity began fussing, so Castle began rocking her and walking around the room with her as he started spinning stories for her. I watched them fondly and in my own heart, I started mourning the loss of baby Hannah but my attention soon drifted back to my career plans. Castle seemed to be reading my mind and spoke up as he sat in the rocking chair near the bed.

"What was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"It's about my career plans."

"You did some thinking?"

"Yes," I nodded. "And I just hope that you don't think I'm being selfish because even though I got promoted to police captain, you're still going to have a bigger salary because you're a millionaire."

"I've never thought of you as a selfish person in the whole seven years that I've known you and you shouldn't ever be afraid or worried to talk to me about anything, especially money. You're my wife and I'm your husband, so we share these things with each other and bring our woes to light."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Unless a miracle occurs and I'm offered a desk job at One Police Plaza, I'm going to put in my papers and retire early when Serenity turns five. I love bringing closure and justice at the end of the day, but I've been on the force for fifteen years now, and spent most of it solving my mother's case."

"The last time we had this conversation, you said you were feeling burned out…"

"And I still am! I've been in the homicide unit since I was a rookie, and this unit is one of the hardest besides narcotics, although the special victims unit takes the cake just about any day of the week…"

I rubbed my eyes, trying not to cry.

"Rick, I don't want to be one of those decorated and prestigious cops who ends up spiraling down because the stress of the job got to me."

"Oh, Kate…"

"After my car accident with Royce as a rookie, I was trapped under the debris of that car and didn't know until later that some stray metal had cut my stomach and infected it because I couldn't feel it. I was almost twenty years old and found out I had an infected uterus, and it was a true miracle that I got better."

None of this was news to Castle, but he remained serious.

"Then what happened the first time you got close to Alexis or the moment you found out Jameson was on the way?"

"I was so happy that I cried."

"And when you met Lily? When you found out about the twins and Serenity?"

"I was happy, sad and terrified because there I was, finally being given everything I ever wanted—you to love and a chance to be a mom… I was just afraid I was going to mess it all up."

"But you haven't because you helped Alexis and Lily every time they've been at rock bottom, and as for Jameson, Jeremiah, Johanna and Serenity, you and I have been able to shape them and watch them grow from the start. Know what, though?"

"What?"

"All four of them, and Alexis and Lily adore you."

"Serenity isn't even a month old yet, though!"

"Be that as it may, _she _adores you because you're her mama and you even survived being held hostage when you were pregnant with her, and that ended with you breaking a bone. You've been a fantastic mother to Serenity already, and you've been a good mother to Alexis, Lily, Jameson, Jeremiah and Johanna, too, so don't you ever doubt it."

He kissed my forehead and smiled at me.

"I understand how important your job is to you, and how it's made you who you are today. It's okay to want to close this chapter on your life to start a new one, but when there's kids involved, it's different."

"And I don't want to miss a thing because I now have six precious babies when I never thought I would have one to begin with! I never thought I'd be married, either because my relationships with Tom, Will and Josh really missed things up for awhile. You saved me, and I could never say thank you enough…"

Castle rose from the rocking the rocking chair and sat next to me again. Holding Serenity close with one arm, he draped the other around my shoulder and pulled me close.

"I'm glad you let me help you."

I smiled gratefully and paused, thinking.

"Now that all of this is out in the open, I have to ask—do you support me with the early retirement plan?"

"One hundred percent." (I breathed a sigh of relief) "If you're hung up on the single-salary-household aspect, don't be."

"Why's that?"

"Mifuyu Endo, the Black Pawn president, says that I make so much off the Derek Storm and Nikki Heat royalties that I never have to write another book again. I keep doing it because I want people to enjoy the stories, but you could retire tomorrow if you wanted and I wouldn't blink an eye because there's more than enough money to take care of our whole family for the rest of our lives without any problems."

(I sat there in stunned silence, processing his words. I've always known Castle was wealthy, and I became aware the exact number when we got a joint bank account after moving into the loft two years ago. Even after marrying him and earning the status of 'millionaire wife,' hearing things broken down in black and white terms, well… it kind of blew my mind, especially when I take into consideration that I came from a well-to-do but not extravagantly wealthy upbringing. It's a little known fact that I'm a trustfund baby)

Sadly, our moment was ruined when we heard Jeremiah call out for us over his baby monitor at the precise moment Serenity became persnickety. Castle gave her back to me and left to get Jeremiah. When he came back, Jeremiah was also fussy because he'd been having bad dreams. When he saw Serenity, he lit up even though he was dead tired.

"Hi-hi, Wenny!" he cooed. "Love you!"

As usual, Serenity calmed at the sound of her brother's voice which prompted him to crawl over to where I was. Ever so carefully, the one-year-old held his baby sister's hand in his and pressed gentle kisses to it.

"Love Wenny! Love, love, love!"

Castle sat next to Jeremiah. "She loves you, too."

"Wenny tired?"

"Yeah, but she can't sleep."

Jameson yawned and lay down, patting the space next to him. Then he looked up at me with puppydog eyes.

"Nuggle wif Wenny?"

"Okay, but be careful that you don't smush her."

Jeremiah yawned again. "No smush…"

I laid Serenity next to him and Castle and I watched as Jeremiah gave Serenity backrubs and kisses until they fell asleep at the same time.

"Kate, look at that." Castle said softly. "Those two tiny humans right there, we made them and taught them to love and be kind to one another."

My tone matched his. "That's exactly what I don't want to miss."

"And you won't."

"How can you promise that?"

"I didn't, but you won't because I'll make sure you don't, and five years from now, when Serenity is blowing out the candles on her birthday cake or you have a desk job at One PP, I'll make sure you're living in the moment right along with me."

Absolute overwhelming peace and relief coursed through my body and I could only manage two words.

"Thank you."


	14. In Which Time Passes

**There are two more chapters left!**

* * *

_October 20, six months later _

* * *

Things have been pretty busy in our house lately—as of yesterday, I've been free of the crutches and the wheelchair, meaning that I'm strong enough to walk on my own two feet; my sabbatical ends in eight days and just today, I had an appointment with Chief Rodriguez at One PP to turn in my papers, officially declaring my return.

Serenity is going fantastic now and just recently, she's gotten the hang of rolling over and sitting up with help of a support pillow. However, even at six months old, Serenity has developed a 'touch me and die' personality, preferring to be on her own. She also knows how to respond to different voices or sounds, but has yet to make any basic sounds besides crying or whining.

Castle and I tell ourselves that all babies develop differently and that Serenity just needs time. We started teaching her American Sign Language, but most of the time, we're can't be sure if she's listening. Serenity hears and understands the world around her, but this could be something that we'll bring up at her next checkup…

* * *

It also makes us wonder if we actually do have a special needs child on our hands. We told ourselves that we could handle it, but now that Serenity is here and we've seen Jameson and Johanna get frustrated with her more than once and noticed that LJ is wary of her, we're beginning to have second thoughts. Alexis and Jeremiah haven't given up on her, so that counts for something, but the issue remains unresolved...

* * *

"Come on, mom." Alexis took the hanger I was holding and put it back on the railing. "I know you can stop worrying about everything long enough to enjoy our girl's night out."

"Where _are _LJ, Joey and Serenity?"

She glanced over her shoulder, towards the closet door. "I can see them from where we're standing. Amaya is keeping an eye on them."

"What place did you pick?"

"Amaya picked it, actually. It's this kid-friendly place at the Pier Seventeen Mall called Genki Desu, and the owner has known her since she was a kid!"

"Sounds like we're in for some fun!"

Although I'd taken Alexis out to dinner on her twenty-third birthday two weeks ago, we were both looking forward to tonight because I'm having an outing with her, LJ, Johanna and Serenity. (We have the excursions about once a month) I invited Amaya because LJ asked if she could come, and besides—I wanted her to come, too.

As a way to ensure that Jameson and Jeremiah don't feel excluded, Castle takes them on a boy's night at the same time. They've already left for the Museum of Natural History.

I wonder how the night will go…

"Mom, are you in there? You keep spacing out on me."

I snapped back to attention. "I swear I'm fine, Alexis. There's just a lot on my mind right now."

She shook her head and laughed. "You worry too much—"

Her words were drowned out by a sudden terrified childlike shriek from the bedroom, followed a split second later by Amaya's authoritative tone.

"Katherine Joy Castle, get in here this instant!"

We were met with an alarming sight when we reached the bedroom—LJ and Johanna were crouching in the corner, crying their eyes out as Amaya knelt in the middle of the room with Serenity, who had gone oddly still. Amaya eased Serenity away from her support pillow and began fanning her little body while Alexis called 911. I knelt down by my stepmother, worried.

"Mom, what's happening?"

"Serenity is having a seizure, Kate."

My heart leapt into my throat. "What?"

"This happened to Yoshi a few times when he was a kid; we have to wait it out." Amaya loosened the snaps on Serenity's onesie to let her have some air. "She just checked out with no warning and wouldn't respond or move—"

"Mom, she's shaking now!"

I began crying as I helplessly watched Serenity's body twitch on its own accord for almost a full minute. Behind me, Alexis was describing the scene to the emergency operator while to my left, LJ and Johanna continued to cry. I only had eyes for Serenity, whose shaking had stopped and was coming out of her absent state by blinking and trying to sit up.

Alexis took Johanna and LJ with her to wait for the paramedics down in the lobby and I called Castle to alert him to the situation but swore loudly when he didn't pick up. After leaving him a quick message, I watched Amaya work with Serenity to regain focus on her surroundings and by the time Alexis returned, Serenity was alert and sitting up.

* * *

_Forty-five minutes later _

_Saint Brigid's Hospital, Pediatric Intensive Care Unit_

* * *

I explained what happened when Castle met me at the hospital, including how Serenity seized again on the ride over, and our moods immediately shifted to a stone's throw of panic mode when the neurologist, Doctor Somerhalder, informed us that Serenity would need to be monitored overnight to watch for any more seizures.

Although we knew that all of the wires attached to Serenity's head and chest were for her own good, I didn't know how to describe the feeling of seeing her lay there in her crib in her diaper with a blanket covering her for warmth. A sign that Serenity wasn't checked out again was that she kept trying to wiggle away from Doctor Somerhalder touch when he was attaching the wires. On a parting note, he told us that Serenity could only have five minutes of visiting time, but on a strict family-only basis.

When the kids arrived with Alexis and Ashley, LJ ran to the crib and poured her heart out to her sister. That was a surprising move all by itself, given how LJ has always held Serenity at an arm's length.

"Serenity, I'm so sorry that you're feeling totally crummy but trust me—I'd do anything to make you better right now! I'm also _super _sorry that I haven't been all that nice to you… but it's because you remind me of Sparkle and Sapphire, my angel sisters. Maybe if I can find a wishing star, I can ask them to watch over you tonight…"

LJ reached through the bars, touching Serenity's hand and smiled when Serenity found her fingers and held on tightly. Tears fell down LJ's face and she didn't even try to wipe them.

"I love you so much, and I promise that from now on, I'll be the best big sister to you that I can, and I really, really hope that you can forgive me for not liking you."

Serenity let go of LJ's fingers and turned over, yawning hugely. The kids were gone five minutes later, and Doctor Somerhalder popped in a few minutes later reported that Serenity's vitals were steadily improving, but when he left, a cloud of worry hung over my head.

I wanted to say something, anything, but I didn't feel strong enough to and just broke down into sobs. Castle held me as he cried, too.

* * *

_Several hours later, 11:15 PM_

* * *

We settled in for the night, but since we knew that sleep would elude us, we stayed up talking each other and to Serenity. Talking to her was disheartening, though, because once she returned to her old self, she resumed looking everywhere but at us, once again making me wonder what goes on in her head.

Seeing her like this made me recall something Castle had told me once.

* * *

"Rick?"

"Hmm?"

"How old were you when Alexis was hospitalized for pneumonia when she was a toddler?"

"Twenty-one."

"Does it ever get easier, watching your child in a hospital bed?"

"Taking into account that Alexis was three at the time and that Serenity isn't even one yet, I'm gonna have to say no."

"Oh…"

I sat back in my chair, trying not to cry because that would make me even more exhausted than I already was. Castle turned to me and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Kate, go stretch your legs. Go get some coffee, or something."

"But—"

He put a finger to my lips. "No buts about it, not tonight. She's doing fine for now, and I can hold the fort for an hour."

"What if something changes or Doctor Somerhalder comes back?"

"I'll text you straight away."

"Okay."

I stood and stretched, only then realizing how long I'd been sitting. Leaning forward, I kissed Castle full on the lips before moving to Serenity's crib and seeing that she was fast asleep. I kissed her cheek and pulled her blanket a little higher over her body.

"I love you so much, Serenity and I'll be back soon, I promise."


	15. Caitlan

**This is the second to last chapter!**

* * *

I decided to skip the coffee altogether because caffeine was the last thing I needed in my system, so I just let my feet do the walking, eventually coming to a stop in front of the little hospital chapel on the third floor. Although I grew up in a non-religious household, I respect all religions because as a cop, there are some cases that require an open mind.

But still… standing in the chapel doorway gave me pause…

What do I do?

Just sit in the pews and think? Or might that be disrespectful if it looks I'm not praying?

But I don't even know _how _to pray.

I was only in the front pew for ten minutes when I heard the footsteps of a newcomer. Naturally, I expected them to keep walking, but instead, the person stopped at my pew.

"Kate?"

I definitely surprised when I realized who it was, especially at this hour—Caitlan Meinrad, Madison's personal assistant (and my old high school classmate, too). It's not often that I see her outside of Madison's company and tonight, she seemed weary.

"Caitlan?" She joined me when I made room for her. "What are you doing in here?"

"You first."

"My one-year-old twins, Malina and Okelani, are both upstairs in the pediatric intensive care unit because they both have colds already, but during lunch, they had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and went into anaphylactic shock—almost at the same time—from the peanut butter. My husband is keeping an eye on them right now."

"Then what about Kai?" I thought of her outgoing little boy who had once given LJ a stuffed camel. "Does he know what's happening?"

Caitlan nodded. "But he's already having a sleepover with little Miri Queller because they're best friends. They'll probably marry each other someday…"

I smiled at the thought, but my smile faltered at the thought of Serenity upstairs in her crib.

"My six month old daughter had a seizure today, completely out of the blue."

"Oh, my God! Were you in the room?"

"No, but my stepmom and two of my other daughters were. Seeing Serenity blank out and then twitch like that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to watch. She's asleep right now, but if she'd been awake, I wouldn't have left."

"Is anyone with her?"

"Rick is watching over her because he told me to take a stroll. You know what the hardest thing about walking out of Serenity's room was?"

"Do tell."

"Even after she gets better and we can take her home, she isn't going to want us to her much."

Caitlan frowned. "Why not? Wanting to be held is in a baby's nature."

"Serenity missed that memo. She tolerates physical contact, but only at arm's length and has been known to throw things if her siblings get too close for her liking."

"What a peculiar child…"

"You're telling me." I sighed. "We're worried about her, Caitlan."

"I would be concerned, too."

"Sure, she's only six months old, but she barely makes noise besides crying or whining."

"What do you mean?"

And that's how I found myself pouring my heart out to Caitlan, whom I haven't really spoken to since high school but felt a new connection with her because we both had sick babies upstairs in the same intensive care ward. By the time I was done explaining, I was close to crying, but Caitlan remained compassionate, even as I asked a question that was weighing on my heart.

"Caitlan, what if I _do _have a special needs child? Rick and I can face the hurdle if it happens, but as a mother, I'm so worried…"

She was quiet for a moment, thinking.

"Serenity is how old? Six months?"

"That's correct."

"I'm sure you've heard this before, but all babies develop at their own rates. I mean, shoot—Kai is four now but refused to speak plain English for the first two-and-a-half years of his life."

"Excuse me? Then what language did he use to communicate?"

"A combination of Hawaiian and German, actually. I was born in Oahu, so Hawaiian is my native language, and my husband is from Berlin, so his first language is German. Kai heard us use those languages and infused the two."

"And here I thought I was the clever one, being fluent in German, Spanish and Russian…"

"To each their own, Kate." My friend shrugged. "You said that Serenity hasn't tried much to make noise besides crying or whining?"

"She scarcely even babbles."

"Well, I'm not expert, but perhaps you and Rick should wait it out."

"How long, do you think?"  
"When she was born?"

"April twenty-fifth."

"Then wait until next April twenty-fifth, when she turns one."

"Because by then, she'd have more of a personality and we could see if she's progressed any further…"

"Exactly."

I turned Caitlan's words over in my head, thinking them through for a moment.

"It's going to be tough, but I think Rick and I will be able to wait until April."

But even at that, there's no telling how Serenity will be by the time her first birthday rolls around.

She's definitely the odd sock among my children, I won't deny it, but she's my baby—my Little Porcupine—and I'm her mama for the rest of her life. My job is to care for her, teach her the ways of the world, show her right from wrong and to above all else love her unconditionally… even if she turns out to be… different.

I know I can handle it, but we don't even know anything for sure yet. I should quit worrying right now.

But what if I retired a year or two ahead of what I'd said?

Nah… I'll stay true to my word. Five more years, then I'm done.

Serenity turns one in six months, anyway.

I don't want to think of her being any older than she is now.

And yet… Caitlan's advice is very comforting—just keep an eye on Serenity and wait until April.


	16. Somewhere Over The Rainbow

**This is the last chapter!**

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_April 25, six months later _

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Serenity turned one today. She functions almost as well as most one-year-olds do, but with some key differences.

When she's around people, she refuses to make direct eye contact or acknowledge anyone who calls her by name. The little ones get frustrated with her periodically, making Serenity the 'lone wolf' of the bunch, although I don't think she minds it. Although her refusal of eye contact is one thing, another thing is that Serenity doesn't show any signs of separation anxiety when we leave her with a babysitter, and while most kids her age like to experiment with toys and objects around them, doing things like banging objects together or even repeating sounds for attention either don't interest her or the concept has gone way over her head.

Serenity is a peculiar child, no doubt, and there are too many oddities about her to list, but on the bright side, she at least knows how to walk and feed herself. Since her hospitalization for the seizure, she was diagnosed with epilepsy and has had three more episodes in the time since. Her seizures get so rough that she wears a medical ID bracelet now, and we have to keep an extra eye on her when they happen to make sure she doesn't hurt herself.

The most startling thing about Serenity is that she doesn't talk at all. We don't know if it's because she can't talk or if she simply chooses to not even try. That isn't to say that she doesn't know how to communicate entirely because she's fluent in American Sign Language and conveys her frustration about anything by stomping her little feet or flapping her arms like a bird. When she's a rock bottom, she drops to the floor and curls up in a ball so she can rock back and forth until she feels better. It's odd to an outsider, but to everybody who knows her, it makes perfect sense.

Upon encouragement from Amaya, Yoshi, Kingston and even Krista and Olivia, Castle and I brought up these concerns with Serenity's pediatrician who in turn referred us to a doctor who specializes in early childhood development. This doctor diagnosed Serenity with nonverbal autism.

Hearing that Serenity is a special needs child came as a blow, especially since I foresaw it and I dreamed about her a few hours before she was conceived on my birthday. She adores Alexis, Lily Joy, Jameson, Jeremiah and Johanna in her own way, but when we sat them down to explain about their sister, we broke things down enough to make sure that even the toddlers understood what was going on.

One thing Serenity is extra weird about is physical contact. She often shies away from it and will throw the nearest thing she can reach at anyone who breeches her bubble of personal space when she's in a bad mood. Then there are the times that all she wants is to be held, but may God have mercy on the soul who tries to put her down before she's ready…

However, the one surefire thing that Serenity loves and wants to share with Castle and I is her love of music. She loves to just let loose and dance to it, and it's the one time she doesn't mind being picked up because she really likes it when we dance with her. Castle pretends to be jealous of my talent, but it's the one way I can be close to my youngest child without her having any walls up at all.

It's the one time it feels like—even for a few minutes—that I'm able to connect to the happy little girl who remains tucked away inside Serenity's soul.

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"Hey, baby girl." I crouched down in front of Serenity as sat in the midst of discarded wrapping paper and smoothed out the wrinkles on her tutu dress. "The party is over and daddy is cleaning up. Is there anything you'd like?"

Her answer was short and to the point. '_Music.' _

"Sure thing, Serenity. Come on."

I took her into my arms, and she immediately turned to butter and rested her head on my shoulder. Feeling extra lovey-dovey, Serenity buried her face in my hair, inhaling my scent. Doing my best not to spook her, I got Castle's attention and beckoned him over.

"What's up, Kate?"

"Rick, will you put on some music for Serenity? She wants to dance with me."

Grinning, he turned on the stereo to a low volume and put the song on repeat before backing away to continue straightening up the living room. He didn't want to intrude on mine and Serenity's moment. It was just the three of us in the loft because courtesy of the Shaws, the rest of the kids were gone for the rest of the day, just so Serenity could have some peace and quiet without getting overwhelmed or having a meltdown.

As the music started to play, Serenity glanced up at me for a second to make sure I was still there, and for the brief second we held eye contact, I saw the ghost of a smile on her face. It made me smile back to see her so at ease, especially since I used to get a little weirded out because she looks _exactly _like I did at that age. Serenity rested her head on my shoulder again as I started swaying to the music and singing along.

'_Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high _

_There's a land that I dream of, once in a lullaby _

_Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue _

_And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true _

_Some day I'll wish upon a star_

_And wake up where the clouds are far behind me _

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops _

_Away above the chimney tops _

_That's where you'll find me _

_Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly _

_Birds fly over the rainbow_

_Why then, oh why can't I? _

_If happy little bluebirds fly _

_Beyond the rainbow _

_Why, oh why can't I?'_

I sang to Serenity until she fell asleep.

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**End**

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That's the end of this tale, so don't expect any updates on it :P the next story, _Skyfall, _will be up soon!


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